when I hear an unusually sweet, and ridiculously innocent, voice calling to me, saying:
"Mommmmmyyy . . . How much do you love me?"
It's at times like that when I quickly glance around, hoping that it's just an audio hallucination; and when I realise that it's not, I have to quickly size up the odds of making a smooth and successful escape. Unfortunately, in a house the size of mine, that's rarely a feasible option. Instead, I'm usually obligated to respond. Responding isn't the problem, it's what comes next.
Inevitably, it's one of my children wanting . . . something. Most likely, a ride somewhere, or permission to do, or go somewhere that I may have to veto, which will eventually lead to some sort of elaborate, drawn out, debate.
In short, a situation that's going to exact more of my time. And that - time - seems to be the one thing that is always in short supply for me. (Well . . . that, and money.) As summer wears on, I'm quickly edging towards panic mode. I am now looking at a mere 103 days before Halloween and I'm no where near where I should be in terms of completed haunt props. Jenn keeps reminding me that I've accomplished so much more this year than last year. Which is true, but last year, I wasn't changing themes. I was just updating an old one. I keep telling myself:
'Only one more month to go, then I'll have eight blessed hours a day to get things done.' Of course, by then, the Halloween countdown will be at 73 days ! I don't even want to think about what a basket case I'll be by then !!!!
Weekend, that is. Although things haven't worked out quite as planned. The rains have returned and as much as try to enjoy it, (I used to love rainy days) it's becoming harder and harder. I'm finding that as I get older, anything more than a shower results in headaches and respitory issues. (maybe I've developed an allergy to mold?) All I know is that I started feeling sluggish yesterday, and spent most of last night struggling with body aches and coughing fits. Today, with a stready down pour, has been worse. I've lost my motivation and I just want to crawl back into bed.
So, not much to report here. I feel I've been in such a daze, if anything did happen, I probably missed it entirely. I think I'll just park myself on the couch with a blanket and wait for the sun.
I feel totally exhausted ! Didn't get enough sleep last night - I was up late with a bunch of fry brained teens watching Ferris Beuhler's Day Off. Don't ask me why. It's just one of those oldies that seem to suck you in.
You know, I think I have probably reached that mid-way point of Summer when I am ready for the kids to go back to school. Things are just getting a little too weird. My youngest daughter seems to have made the complete transformation into a "nocturnal creature," and now I can't find 5 minutes to myself. Of course, the kids are just hitting their stride. They never seem to run out of things to do, places to go, and ways to make me nuts. I think the worst part of this summer is that the weather has just been so awful. Either it's extreme heat, or it's pouring down rain. My summer escapes of sneaking off to walk the dogs have been few and far between. Being stuck inside with so many people is becoming claustrophobic.
I've spent most of my day gathering food supplies for the month of July. Grocery day is always a work out. A couple of days prior, Jenn and I work out a dinner menu for the month (which may, or may not, be adhered to) and a shopping list. I've finally gotten a little smarter and started saving some of our favorite meal plans on the computer so we don't have to rack our brains every month trying to come up with 30 different meals. Then, on the specified day, it's off to the stores. (We put it off this month until we were almost out of everything.) Load hundreds of dollars of food stuffs off the shelf and into the cart. Unload it at the check out. We do as much shopping as possible at discount stores like Aldi's, so it's bag it all up and load it back into the carts. (This week, we had THREE carts full at Aldi's!) Load it into the car, trying to find room for it all in Jenn's car isn't easy. Unload it into the house - if we're lucky, we have help on that. And finally, try to find a place to store it. Then, we're off to a bigger store (someplace like Walmart or Hy-Vee) to get the remaining items that Aldi's might not stock, and do the whole thing all over again !! All that food shopping and I didn't get a chance to eat anything until 10:30PM !! By then, I was too exhausted to do cook anything, so I settled for a leftover salad and some cheese crescent rolls.
So yeah, I'm feeling like a zombie right now. I think I'll shuffle off to bed.
Good night.
That my life couldn't possibly get any stranger than it already is, my husband goes and does something that totally bewilders me. And really, it's not just any one thing. I've noticed that lately, my hubby has developed a sizable portfolio of rather odd and quirky behaviors. I'd heard that men get a little flaky after they reach "a certain age;" but honestly, I didn't think I'd live long enough to ever find out exactly what that meant. (If you know anything about my husband, then you know why I've never held any expectations for an excessively long life.) What concerns, yea, even terrifies me, is that this may be just the beginning - the tip of the iceberg. (I've seen enough horror movies to know that these things always start off small, and seemingly benign . . .) In fact, I'm not exactly sure when it all started, all I know is that I find myself looking at him and thinking 'What the hell . . .' multiple times a day. No, I'm not going to go into all the specifics and details. I'm not up for that tonight. *SIGH*
Tomorrow, I need to get myself motivated to spend the day at the college. Yep, I'm going back to school. I give up - time to move on to Plan B. I've sent out about a million resumes, and because of all my optical experience, I've been called in to interview for most of them. However, it seems that my lack of computer skills and insurance experience is holding me back from actually getting the jobs. So, I'm going to take some courses on computers and insurance coding. Honestly, I just can't imagine anything more boring. I'm a little concerned that if the technical aspect of optics has become so much more important than the optical and personal aspects - I may not even be interested in returning to it. Just in case, I'm also going to try and squeeze in an art class. *BIG SIGH* I don't know, right now, I'm feeling a little lost and uncertain about the whole thing - but I have to do something.
Anyway, I need to get myself off to bed.
Good night.
Sweltering ! It's one of those days. The sun's heat is slowly melting everything down to it's basic elements. When I stepped out the door this morning, I could literally smell the petroleum rising up from the streets; reminding me how plastic and man-made the world is.
And to make matters worse, I woke up this morning with my brain doing a million miles an hour. That little neurotic self that cowers in the back of my brain is hyped up on . . . . something. She's managed to push her way to the front of my head and is frantically making lists of impossible tasks that simply must be completed yesterday! I almost fell for her insanity. (she's so good at reeling me in.) Instead, I've opted to breathe deeply, smile, and stand my ground. I simply refuse. I don't even want to look at the lists - I'm in no mood for it today. I'm feeling very fragile, I could be easily pushed over the edge. I'm going to stay inside where it's cool and do things that calm and soothe me. I'll let you know how that works out.
