Friday, February 26, 2010

Okay, I'm done . . .

I'm ready for winter to be over. I've had enough snow, enough sickness, and enough of all the inconvenience that they bring with them. I'm tired of being cooped up in the house, I miss my long afternoon walks with my dogs, I'm tired of picking up coats, boots, hats, gloves, and scarves.

The days are too short, and the nights are too long.

I know that March (and spring) is right around the corner, but it seems like it just can't come fast enough for me. Actually, I'm surprised that I've made it this long without my usual cabin fever. I've always felt that winter is about 45 days too long. As far as I am concerned, we could just eliminate the entire month of February from the calendar, and skip straight to March. Something about February always kicks my ass. I'm just completely done with the whole thing.

Could we PLEASE move on now?

Monday, February 22, 2010

I think it's quite possible . . .

That I've actually been dead for a couple of days now. That would explain a lot of things. ( all the lethargy, my lack of appetite, random and confused brain functions; and of course . . . the smell.) Although, if my theory proves correct, I've got some really bad news for those of you who were feeling optimistic about the after life. This sucks!!!

It's been over two weeks now, and I still feel like shit. I called the doctor, and he phoned in a second round of antibiotics for me, but I think he's grasping at straws. With or without the meds, it seems that I have crappy days . . . and then, I have days that are SUPREMELY crappy. Crappy beyond measure! Yesterday was one of those days. I don't think it's a virus, I don't think it's bacterial, I don't think it's environmental, I don't even think it's genetic. I think . . . I must have done something to really piss God off. I just wish I could remember what it was.

I try to be good, But you know . . . I do a lot of stupid things. I just can't seem to help myself. And most of the time, I think to myself, "Wow, that was really stupid . . ." But I just can't recall anything I've done, recently, that merits this kind of divine retribution. I like to think God is a just and fair God, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, he's still pissed about all the stuff I did in the 80's? I know I did a lot of things during that decade that I can't remember. Who knows? Maybe, He just pulled my name out of a hat? See, I told you, random and confused brain functions . . . Hmmmm . . . maybe, I have mad cow disease? No . . . that's just stupid. I can't figure it out. It's beyond me.

So . . . In the midst of all this mental uncertainty about God, I've been trying to get a job. (once again - told ya so - I really do a lot of stupid stuff.) The whole process is really weird, because now, instead of getting a newspaper, taping it to the wall, and throwing a dart at it; I have to sort through all these random lists of jobs on the Internet. It feels a lot like going to a garage sale and rummaging through a bunch of shit that nobody else wants. Every once in a while, you find something interesting; but then, you find out that it's really just another piece of crap, or you have to fight your way through a million other bargain hunters, and hope that you are the first to have exact change. It's crazy. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure that I even want to go back to work. But if nobody else is going to get a job, and if they think that they're just going to hang around my house, eating my food, and making a mess . . . then I need to get the hell out of here. It's not that motherhood and marriage isn't rewarding . . . But if I have to put up with this crap - I want cash! Then, they'll all have to be reeeealy nice to me if they want something. Mhwahahahaha . . . I'm so evil.

Well, I need to go to bed now and hope that they don't decide to cancel school in the morning. It's been snowy and icy all weekend, and the kids are hoping that they will get another day off. ( Jake has decided that we are having "lasagna weather" - layers of snow, ice, snow, ice . . .) I'd just like to have a nice, quiet, day without a bunch of kids sprawled all over my living room, eating Ramen noodles, and watching "Zombieland" for the 150th time. That doesn't seem like too much to ask for, but we'll see how it works out.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Here I am again.

I've got a to do list that's about a mile long, but I've got zero energy. Whatever I've got, it just won't go away. I went to the doctor about two weeks ago, got some antibiotics, and within 24 hours, I felt great. Until I ran out of meds last Wednesday. Since then, it's been creeping back on me. For the first few days, I was in denial, now, it's kicking my butt and I'm waiting to hear back from the doctor. UGH! Can't quit coughing, my head is throbbing, and I'm achy all over. All I want to do is go back to bed - and I just crawled out of bed a couple of hours ago!

This is insane. I sleep for three or four hours, get up, clean up the mess that they created, get exhausted, go back to bed, and do it all over again. Right now, I should be starting dinner, but I'm whipped.

I'm going back to bed.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I've been trying to ignore . . .

all the frilly, red and pink Valentine's day hype and hoopla, that the world insists on wallowing in, but it seems inescapable. It's not that I have anything against mushy, gooey, romantic stuff; It's just that after 20 years of being married to the same guy, I don't need flowers, hearts, and candy to confirm our love. Besides, I'm really not your conventional kind of girl. In fact, I've already told my hubby what I'd like to do this year to celebrate Valentine's Day.

First of all, I don't want to celebrate Valentine's day on Valentine's day. The idea of going out and being surrounded by crowds of doe-eyed, love struck, desperate couples just makes me want to puke. I told him that I'd rather wait a few days. I always prefer to go out during the week, as opposed to the weekend; fewer people, and I usually find myself more in need of a break during the weekday.

Second, I know my husband inside and out, I don't need to be impressed. All that I really want, is to spend time with him. I'm quite content with dinner out and a movie. I don't care where we go, as long as I don't have to cook the food, or clean up the mess.
Now concerning the movie . . . I was quite specific. I want to go see The Wolf man. I realise that it's probably not the top choice for a romantic date, but that's just how I roll. It may not be a conventional choice, but I suspect it's going to be an amazing movie. Not only is the wolf man my all time favorite monster, but I absolutely LOVE Anthony Hopkins. And Benicio Del Toro?! About a month ago, I rented "Things We Lost in the Fire" and I was absolutely knocked out by him ! He's fabulous! I was hoping that I would get to see more of him in other roles. So I'm very excited.

What's not to love about a dark, Gothic horror story? I maybe a strange little girl, but I don't ask for much. Ultimately, it's the small, simple things in life that make me happy.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I'm getting ready . . .

to haul my lazy butt off to bed.  So far, my weekend has been good.  Well, except for a moment or two when someone implied 'that I didn't know what chaos was . . . ' what a silly person!  Anyway, I don't care to relive that part of my day.

What I wanted to let everyone know,  is that I've taken some time this evening to post a few photos on Lunatics on the Loose, my family photo blog.

 If you are family, and you are looking for some new photos to steal, don't get your hopes up - you probably already have most of these.  (or they're ones that I stole off your facebook.  cough, cough, Jas, cough, cough)  However . . . if you aren't, and you'd like to get a peek at the crazy people that I often ramble about; well then, go check it out.
*Also, I've added a link to my youngest daughter's photo blog, Through the eyes of Heather Nikole.  My oldest daughter is also an excellent photographer. (if she gave me a link to her photos, I'd add that too. hint-hint - maybe, she will? )

I've got a lot more photos that I'll be posting soon. (or when I get some time)  I love my lunatics, and I like to show them off.

Okay, I need to throw together some sausage bisquits, and maybe whip up some muffins, before I get to bed, so that my people will have something quick and easy to gnaw on before church in the morning.

Have a great weekend everyone !

Friday, February 5, 2010

I'm ready for a break.

It's finally Friday. Somehow, I've managed to survive this week. I don't know, seems these past seven days have been . . . not just busy, but tedious. Accomplishing the simplest, and most mundane tasks, have required monumental effort. I don't think that it's just the result of getting over being sick, life has just seemed more . . . complicated lately. I can't really say why, it just has.

But this morning, I awoke to almost a blizzard of big, fat, wet, snowflakes falling outside my window. Not only was it beautiful, but something about snow seems to stir some kind of nesting instinct in me.
In spite of the kids having the day off school, and both Jake and Heather having overnight guests, I've managed to get quite a bit accomplished today. I'm almost entirely caught up on laundry, and I got most of the basic housework done. I'm tired, but at least now, I feel like my world has returned to a more manageable level of crazy. I'm even considering taking on some bigger projects next week. Things like cleaning the carpets in Jake's room, and cleaning out the garage and finding places for some of the collected crap out there. I'll have to see how next week goes.

For now, I just want to sit back and enjoy my weekend. The family and I have plans to go visit my mom and spend some time with her tomorrow. And Sunday, I'm looking forward to church with my family and maybe, doing some work on my Halloween props. We're expecting more snow Saturday night; which would be awesome - as long as it doesn't make the roads difficult - I feel like I really need a couple of stress free days.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care.

Soooo . . . It's 10:30PM and I am baking a double batch of my world famous peanut butter crackle cookies. Oh yeah, I have tons of house work still to be done. In fact, I've accomplished virtually nothing today. And no, I'm not just blowing things off. Actually, I'm baking cookies for my husband who specifically requested them last night. Unfortunately, last night I was out of a few ingredients. So today, while I was at the store getting a few things, I made a point of getting those few missing ingredients and surprising my hubby tonight. Am I a sweet and thoughtful wife, or what? Yes, I am. Anyways, he crashed out after dinner, but I knew he'd be up again before the night was over. (he always is.)

So I began the task of mixing, rolling, coating, and baking. Just as the first batch was cooling on the kitchen table - actually reaching that point of being awesomely, warmly, delicious - hubby comes stumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen. I'm thinking,

"Wow, this guy must have some kind of super powers when it comes to fresh baked cookies!"

As I slip the second tray of cookie dough into the oven, I turn around to see that he is scraping the last of the peanut butter out of the jar onto a slice of bread and layering it with big globs of grape jelly. I say,

"Uh . . . the first batch of cookies should be cool enough to eat. Did you see them?"

"Oh yeah. I just have a craving for this." he mumbles around a huge bite of PB and J.

SERIOUSLY !?! I'm baking cookies for him - in the dead of night - because he asked for them - and now, he doesn't want them anymore?! There are only about a hundred other things that I could be doing besides this. He could have had a PBJ last night; but no, he asked for cookies.

Am I being absurdly petty? Maybe so. It just seems like this is how every thing in my life works. Oh well, the dogs love my peanut butter cookies - ALL the time. *sigh*

Okay, fine, enough. The cookies are done, and I don't care what they do with them.

I've spent most of today running errands all over town. I got up early for a job interview that turned out to be a waste of time. It didn't take me long to realise that it was not a place I wanted to work. It really isn't set up any different than the last place I interviewed, and the job is almost identical, but she (the doctor) had a whole different attitude and energy. I'm honestly hoping that I won't hear back from her.

I was looking at the calender this evening, and this whole week really isn't looking to good for catching up on things. Tomorrow, I have an appointment in the morning for Jake, then a dentists appointment for both of them in the afternoon. Wednesday is grocery day. (usually an all day event) Thursday is open, but by then, I'll be so buried, I won't even know where to start. And really, what's the point? The kids are out of school on Friday making this a three day weekend. Even if I could get caught up in one day, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference by the time they go back to school on Monday! So, here's what I think. Screw it all. If I have any spare time this week, I'll spend it doing what I want - most likely, working on some paper mache projects that I have going for the haunt. I'm not going to fight a losing battle. If the place gets too gross for them - they have plenty of time to watch movies, take naps, I'm sure they can clean up their crap if it gets too deep. I'll deal with it next week.

I think I need an attitude adjustment.

I was going to post about my weekend, but I just realised that I can't remember much of it. It's all just been one big blur. That always seems to happen when everyone is at home. I know that I had plans to clean my house . . . what the hell was I thinkin'?! Cleaning house while all these people are here is absolutely absurd: I can't keep up with them! So now I sit here on Sunday night, making a mental list of all the things I (still) need to get done, and the list just keeps growing longer.

I'm starting to develop a real pissy attitude about housework lately; seems I just can't be bothered with it much anymore. Of course, I can't function amid chaos and clutter either. I'm pretty sure it's that I haven't gotten my energy back just yet from being sick. Plus, right now, I seem to be going through one of my creative phases. I'd much rather doodle, or work on one of my projects, than clean a house that will just have to be cleaned again tomorrow.

I'm sure that I'll get back into the groove of things soon enough. For now, I should probably get myself off to bed and see if some rest will improve my attitude.