Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Eve of All Hallow's Eve !!!!

Hey there !

Well I have survived this day, one more to Go - the big one. I just got home a little while ago from having Jasmin do my hair. My hair kicks butt. It's a deep red with Black highlights. Roy say that he thinks it makes me look younger, but I think he's just trying to get in my pants. Sigh, he'll have to wait - I've got stuff to do for the next couple of days. (so does he, he,he)

This morning,( remember, when I was up early?) I was watching the news on TV. One of the local channels has a thing called "Spook Central" on their web page. It's a listing with a map of ll the Halloween events here in Kansas City. They list Haunted houses, parties, special events, pumpkin patches, and . . . must see decorations! I checked it out this evening and the only Must see decoration location listed is in KC, MO. So . . . I submitted our house and some photos for a contest. I wish I had known about this sooner, but I don't watch the news much. Anyway, all submissions have to be approved before they get posted, so I'm hoping that it gets listed before tomorrow Night. Next year, we will be trying to raise donations for local animal shelters, so I am definitely getting listed early. I've got all kinds of big plans for next year.

Okay, I've still got things to do before bed, so I better get moving. BY the Way, Happy Halloween to all my friends in Australia, and the U.K, and everyone on the other side of the world!!! Happy Haunting !!!!!!

Love ya,


Hey there,

Good Morning!! Yup, that's right, I got up early today. No, that does not mean Noon! I went to bed last night at a reasonable hour, (11:30PM) and woke up (with the assistance of the alarm clock) at 7:30AM. I've got about a million things to accomplish today and tomorrow, so I figured I'd better post something before things get too crazy around here. (or at least, crazier) I've got a list of last minute details that need to be done, and an even longer list of BEYOND last minute things that have to be handled tomorrow.

So, I'm sitting here, checking my list twice, and my husband calls me with an urgent demand. He rattles off an 800 number, and tells me that, "as of today, cell numbers are being released for solicitation and I HAVE to call and have our cell phone numbers placed on a 'do not call' list. - NOW!'"

I say, "Uh . . . excuse me honey, but, what planet do you live on? That shit happened a LONG time ago. Have you ever gotten a solicitation call on your cell phone? No? Well then, I guess you can assume that I am on top of things. I'm really busy, gotta go, bye."

It' just so strange, the things that he thinks are urgently important sometimes. Actually, I haven't called and had our numbers put on a 'do not call list'. I have a very simple and effective method for dealing with phone solicitors. It's called, 'Click.' Or as my children like to call it, 'pressing the FU button.' I just can't imagine anyone being such a wuss that they are afraid to hang up on a total stranger who calls on YOUR cell phone! But then, when it comes to phones, my husband drives me crazy. Ever since the invention of Caller ID, he won't pick up the phone without first knowing who it is. And since my husband turned 40, he can't read the caller ID for shit. He picks up the phone, holds it at arms length, and turns it to the right, and to the left, and to the right again. Then after it has rung the maximum of four rings, and the voice mail has picked up, he answers it to find that there is no one there !!!!!! When I ask him who it was, he says, "I don't know." My feelings: who CARES who it is ! Just make the damn thing stop ringing !!! If it's someone that I don't want to talk to, I'll hang up on them. How hard is that ?! It's MY phone, they are invading MY home by calling, I don't HAVE to be polite.

Okay, I've got to get off my ass and do stuff. I will hopefully be back on friday night, or Saturday morning with a ton of cool photos to post of Halloween and our home haunt.

Gotta go,

Love y'all,


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Halloween Movie List

Hi, It's me again.

I'm carefully pecking at the keyboard because I just did my nails and I don't want to screw them up. It's been ages since the last time I painted my nails ! I used to be so particular about them, but now . . .pffffft! I wouldn't even have done them this evening, if it weren't for Halloween. I am going to dress up like an early 1900's (very gothic) doctor's wife/assistant - who just happens to be dead. So, of course, my nails are black. I just wish that I hadn't broken them all off working on the asylum. I've always had very long, healthy nails, but that's another vanity that I just don't have much time for lately. Oh well.

I'm sitting here tonight watching "An American Werewolf in London." One of my all time favorite spooky movies. I watch a lot of horror films, all kinds, but some of my favorites are not what you would think. Nightmare on Elm street, Halloween, and Friday the 13th, were all fine - the FIRST time. I hate horror movie sequels, but somehow, I always get sucked into watching them. The ones I like best, well, most people probably wouldn't even call them horror movies. I like legends that send a chill down your spine, ones filled with fantasy and imagination, but still, somehow believable. (in as much as any movie can be.) Also, a little romance and humor is good even in a spooky movie. If I don't care about the characters, what do I care if they end up dead? Depravity, blood, guts and gore is only good for an initial shock effect, and after a while, it's boring. I'm not real impressed by all of it. It doesn't make a movie memorable. Some of my favorite Halloween movies are:
An American Werewolf in London,
Practical Magic,
The shinning,
Lost boys,
Interview with the Vampire,
The Exorcism of Emily Rose,
The Legend of sleepy Hollow (with Johnny Depp,)
Van Helsing,
Dracula (the one with Frank Langela,)
Frankenstein (with Robert De Niro as the monster)
Hell boy was okay,
Frighteners (with Michael J. Fox,)
Constantine (with Keneau Reeves,)
And I know it's silly, but I LOVE the Disney movie, Hocus Pocus. The one with Sarah Jessica Parker and Bette Middler? It's a movie that truly captures the spirit of what Halloween was like for me as a kid. When I think of Halloween, THAT'S what I imagine.

Oh Lord, I have to go now, It's 12:30 AM, and Pete is stirring up trouble with Princess. They're just like kids - and so predictable. If I don't go deal with him, he's going to end up getting his ass kicked by a girl -again. He MUST like it, he never seems to learn.

Good night,

Just waiting around

I have been informed that I haven't been blogging lately by my daughter. This is true. Mostly because, things have been a little dull around here. I've been dealing with a sick baby. My youngest daughter, Heather, has been dealing with an upper respiratory infection. I took her to the doctor today, and he started her on some antibiotics and cough syrup with codeine. (knocks her on her butt!!)

I'm really just kind of waiting around for Friday. (Halloween) I've finished up everything except the last minute details. Unfortunately, there are going to be more last minute things than I had planned. Friday is going to be hectic. Roy was off quite a bit last week for his back, and only ended up with 21 hours, so things like buying candy for the little goblins, won't happen until the day of Halloween. I've never waited that long, it will be interesting to see if there are more sales, or if there is just a lot of picked over, high priced, crap. I know that with everything that needs to be done, I won't have a lot of time to shop around.

I've also got to go get my hair done sometime this week. I haven't been to see Jasmin to get my hair done for a couple of months, and I REALLY need it! I told her that I wanted something "dramatic" for Halloween . She said that she had just the thing - I can hardly wait to see what she comes up with.

Right now, I'm a little worried about Nick and Jennifer. They went to Taco Bell and they've been gone quite a while. Taco Bell has a promotion that if someone steals a base during the world series (baseball) Then all you have to do, is walk in, mention the stolen base, and you get a free taco. Lots of people are hitting every Taco bell in town. Nick and Jennifer went to get a free taco, They said they would go to a different Taco Bell and bring one back for Heather and I; but at the last minute, they started talking about trying to pull some scam so that they don't have to drive "all over town". Sheesh, there are two Taco Bells on the same street here in Olathe!! How lazy. Hope they don't get into trouble . . . Well, they just got home, and I'll have to hear this story. Besides, I have to get off my butt and get dinner started.

Later folks,

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I am SO evil.


It's almost 4:00AM and I'm sitting here having a giggling fit. I've been taking advantage of the quiet this evening, and I've been working on one of my last Halloween props. It's a patient for the asylum. She's . . .uh . . . NOT hugely attractive. She's kind of elderly looking with a white curly wig and, of course, she's dead. I finished painting her head after Roy went to bed. Jake, and one of his best buddies, Patrick, and I, decided to name her Edna. Anyway, everyone has gone to bed and I was thinking of doing the same. As I was cleaning up, I was looking at Edna, and it suddenly occurred to me how hilarious it would be if I put Edna's head into bed with my husband, with her head on my pillow, facing his direction. I could make a little noise that might cause him to stir, and see if my husband screams like a little girl. Best of all, he has spent most of his day with Nick, watching crazy, twisted Rob Zombie Movies.

You know, about 17 years ago, I remember him playing a similar trick on Jasmin. She woke one Halloween morning to find a Bloody cow's leg bone in bed next to her. I wasn't home, But I can imagine the screams. Turn about would be fair play, don't you think? Oh my gosh, it would be so funny to see his reaction! However, there are a couple things that keep me from following through with my plan. 1.) My husband isn't 13 years old, and he just might have a heart attack. 2.) Everyone is asleep, and I don't have a video camera with night vision. Damn ! So . . . all I can do is sit here letting my imagination run wild, and giggle my ass off.

Oh well. I'm going to finish cleaning up and put myself to bed. Hopefully, I won't wake my hubby with my giggles.

Good night.



Saturday, October 25, 2008

My daughter, the Hippie chick.

Thank God it's finally Friday. It's been a long, cold, and rainy week. My poor dogs are losing their tiny minds being stuck inside all day. All the dreariness is starting to drive me a bit buggy too. I just hope that it warms up a little next week, as promised; At least for a few more days, I hate the way that Autumn slips by so quickly, and winter drags on forever. I'm really not looking forward to walking the dogs in the snow and bitter cold. Unfortunately, there's nothing that my dogs love more than a fresh snowfall.

The cooler weather has brought the field mice back into our house. Angel managed to catch one last night. Now she's obsessed with finding the rest of them. She spends her evenings staring at the baseboards in the kitchen, just waiting for one of them to show so much as a whisker. I guess I'll have to get some traps, or she'll be totally insane by spring. Poor Angel, she was born to be a farm dog. She loves to work; tracking and hunting, herding and pulling a cart. Heather and I were talking about it this evening. We both agree that we need to find ourselves a big old farm house to move to - for Angel's sake, of course.

While Jake was at the school dance, Heather and I went to the thrift store to find a few things for our Halloween costumes. Heather is going to be a '60's hippie. She's so excited, she loves the whole idea of tie dye t-shirts and long flowing headbands. As soon as we got home, she ran to her room to try everything on. She is perfect for the part, it suits her. She still wants to get a pair of round wire rim glasses with colored lenses. (sort of an Ozzy Osbourne look.) She also wants to get a pair of platform boots. I keep telling her that platform boots were the '70's, not the'60's. I told her she needs go-go boots or sandals ! Besides, she'd probably kill herself running around at night in big 'ol platform boots. As I remember, it took a bit of practice to wear those things ! Between disco and platform shoes, orthopedic surgeons made a fortune off broken ankles in the '70's.

Well, it's getting late and I need to get myself off to bed. Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thinkin' out loud

Crazy day. Actually, yesterday has just sort of melded into today, and I just keep going. Since I finally got all the kids back to school and everyone else to work, I cleaned like a dervish yesterday, ALL day.

Then, at 9:30 PM, I found out that the night time temperatures were going to plummet, and that this weekend, our first hard frost is expected. So, tired or not, I got my men to help me move all my plants inside. My kitchen looked like a tropical rain forest. Every surface was covered by wet, drippy plants. All the counters, the kitchen island, even my eight foot kitchen table and twelve foot church bench ! My plan was to just leave them and deal with it all in the morning. But as I started looking at this weird, and overwhelming sight, I noticed how many plants had just gone wild over the past month, and desperately needed to be trimmed back. I should never have picked up the shears. Once I started clipping, in a matter of minutes, I had an absolute mountain of clippings that had to be put into water. By the time it was all said and done, it was almost 2:30 AM. So I figured, what the hell, might as well start finding places to put some of these plants . . . Before I knew it, Roy's alarm was going off at 4AM (for a 5 AM service call at Wendy's.) Nick was up at 4:30, the kids at 6:30 and 7:00 AM. I didn't get a chance to lay down and sleep until 8:30 AM.

I was back up at Noon, and busy cleaning up all the leaves, and plant debris. I could barely tell that I had spent all day yesterday cleaning house.

Nick had two court dates today, one in Lenexa, and one in Prairie Village. He got 6 months, unsupervised, probation in Lenexa, for driving with an open container; and a continuance (until Dec. 11th) on his Diversion revocation (for DUI.) Maybe I'm an idiot, but Nick's recent behavior has me feeling . . . hopeful ? I know that Nick is capable of maintaining sobriety for longer periods than three weeks, but the real surprise is that he has managed to stay sober NOW. Normally, the stress of upcoming court dates, and financial frustration, almost guarantee a drinking binge. I know that he's been worried about the possible consequences of court, and his new job only pays twice a month, so money has been a huge issue lately, but he's been handling it all pretty well. He's actually making a conscious effort to manage his stress, so that he can remain sober. I don't know if it has any thing to do with the ultimatums that he was given three weeks ago, or if he's just tired of the whole thing, but I believe he is sincerely working at staying sober - long term.

Last week, Roy told me that he thought that this was "it" for Nick. He said that something about Nick's words and actions made him believe that he was "done" with the whole addiction thing. At the time, I wasn't so sure. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. As far as Roy's assessment, I actually felt suspicious that he was setting me up, trying to throw me off, redirect me, so that he could pull one of his famous not-so-pleasant surprises. I know, that sounds really paranoid, but after dealing with so much insanity and twisted thinking, it starts to affect MY thinking. It's like, I think I have to stay one step ahead of them. Not that it does any good to see it coming, probably because it makes it easier to feel smug and self righteous when I say " I told you so." How messed up is that?

Anyway, I digress. Today, I was just really impressed with the way Nick dealt with everything. He knew, both times that he went to court today, that going to jail was a real possibility. He certainly isn't acclimated to the idea of doing jail time. If anything, he' even more stressed by the idea than ever. I think that he has just finally reached the point where he is really determined to do things right. Maybe he's a little cocky about it . . . I over heard him talking to his lawyer today. He said, " I can go to RADAC and get a drug and alcohol evaluation, it doesn't matter what they recommend, I've already decided to stay clean and sober." I'm not sure that he has the "How" part completely figured out, but I think he has made a commitment to staying clean and sober. I think. I guess everything is subject to change. All I know is that this evening, as he was sitting and talking with Jennifer, there was just something in the way he looked and behaved that seemed more . . . mature?

It's funny, I've heard so many other mothers say, "oh gosh, they grow up so fast, wouldn't it be nice if they could just stay young forever?" I guess for some people, growing up is easy ? But when a person has to fight and struggle as hard as Nick has, every step towards growing up seems so much more precious, so amazing and wonderful.

A couple of weeks ago, I was working in the garage and just with Nick. Jake showed up with a couple of his friends from school. (two boys and a very pretty girl) They were just goofing around, skateboarding, helping a bit with the haunted house, but mostly just making asses of themselves. After they left, Nick started talking about how "cool" his little brother is; how much he wished that he could have been more like Jake; funny, confident, and popular. He said that growing up, Nick never felt like he fit in anywhere - that he still feels like he doesn't fit in. ( Nick really envies Jake) I have always felt that Nick was an exceptional person, with so many wonderful qualities. But as I thought about the things he was saying, I suddenly realised how he felt, and I felt so sad for him. I really wish that things could have been different for Nick. I often wonder what his life would be like today. I'm sure that he does too. I just hope that he has finally decided to let go of all the "what ifs" and move forward from here.

Well, I think that's enough rambling for now. I need to get my butt out of this chair and do something. I'm so glad that this day is over, that this week, is almost over. I've got a lot of little things to do tomorrow to finish up for Halloween. I should probably make a list so that I don't forget anything.

Good night.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A couple of lazy days

I have totally, and completely, frittered my day away, today. I really didn't do much better yesterday either. By the way, I woke up feeling much better on Monday; thanks for all the well wishes, they must have done the trick.

Unfortunately, my children decided that they needed a day off as well. Heather complained of allergies as well on Monday. (although, I didn't notice any evidence of symptoms) And Jacob developed the same complaints last night. (after he discovered that Heather got a day at home for hers.) So, this Morning, I woke up to find that Roy had allowed BOTH kids to stay home today. My husband is the biggest pushover. If the kids say, "I don't feel good', he lets them stay home - no questions asked. Then he goes off to work and leaves me to explain things when the school calls. Which is why I have to get back to a morning routine. I was doing good for a while, until this weekend threw me off track . Anyway, I informed them both that they WILL be going to school in the morning because, I WILL get up and make sure it happens. Bunch of little fakers and their co-conspirator father . . .

I have to admit, having the kids at home has been the perfect excuse for me to do the bare minimum around here. There really isn't much point in trying, as long as they are camped out on the couch with their pillows and blankets, watching cartoons and music videos. So I've spent most of the last couple of days sketching, and just hanging out with them. It's been nice, but enough is enough. At this rate, we are ALL going to be up to our eyeballs in 'make up work' for the rest of the week. The world has no tolerance for slackers, *SIGH*

I think that I am just about done with our Halloween preparations. All that's left is to buy the candy for the trick or treaters, and go to the meat market for a few random body parts and internal organs. There is one more prop that I'd like to put together, but it'll wait until this weekend, I think.

I'm already starting to sketch out some designs and plans for next year's projects. I'm really excited about having some pre-planned projects that I'll have plenty of time to work on. lot of them involve working with mediums that I've never worked with before; like making the new headstones, that may take a bit of experimentation to figure out. I'll be working with styrofoam and carving with a Dremel drill. Maybe Santa will bring me some new tools for Christmas?

I enjoy being creative, but I have always been a little shy and nervous about working with new materials. (unless it seems really simple, of course) But while working on our home haunt this year, out of necessity, I did some sculpting to adapt a project for what I needed. I surprised myself, and really enjoyed it. Originally, I had just planned on enrolling in a few drawing and painting classes at the community college this winter; now, I'm giving serious consideration to adding some sculpting and metal work classes as well. Maybe, there was a reason for me not enrolling this Fall? If I had, I probably wouldn't have had time to put together this Halloween project. Maybe, I needed this little project to restart my creative juices and build some confidence ? I've always been a firm believer in that some of the things that we see as disappointments, happen for a reason; and that all things work together for a purpose.

Anyway, I need to get to bed at a decent hour tonight, so that I can make good on the threats to my children.

Good night.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Zzzzzzzz . . .

I've had one of those days that just didn't happen the way I planned. That happens a lot. To be honest, my plans for today weren't so exciting anyway. The plan was, to sleep in, then get up and tackle the mountain of laundry that has been accumulating around here. Nothing exciting, just a leisurely day of hanging out and folding clothes, but after the past few days of kids and chaos, that sounded pretty good to me. It didn't take long for those plans to go by the wayside.

Within an hour of being up, I figured out why my body wanted so much sleep. I started coughing and sneezing, which progressed to a headache, feeling achy and itchy, and an all around feeling of crappiness. I guess the last few days of warmth and sunshine, preceded by a week of wet and cloudy weather, has got something blowing in the air - most likely mold spores - and my allergies are pissed off!!! I spent quite a bit of time outside yesterday, walking the dogs and running errands, I guess I'm paying for it today. It just sucks that it never seems to catch up with me until the weather turns nice. I would have preferred to have spent the cloudy days feeling like poo.

I did try, I got laundry started, I just ran out of steam way too soon to really say that I accomplished anything. Instead, I decided to hell with the laundry and just take things easy. Jasmin stopped by with the kids for a while, and that was all the excuse that I needed.
When they left, I took some Tylenol and went to lay down. I had planned to give the meds about 15 minutes or so, to kick in, then I'd get up and do something. Instead, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 7PM ! By the time I fed my crew of hungry bears, and cleaned up - my day is shot. I guess that's the way it goes sometimes. I just wish I could take something for my allergies, but everything that does any good, messes with my blood pressure, so I guess the best thing for it is rest.

Everyone went to bed early tonight in preparation for Monday, and back to school and work. So here I am, with the TV all to myself. I got to watch The Happening by M. Night Shaymalan. It wasn't as good as I had hoped. The endings of his films always disappoint me. It reminded me a lot of The Village - kind of weird and pointless. Listen to me. I'm hardly qualified to sit here and critique film. All I know is, they just don't make spooky movies like they used to.

Shit, I can't believe I'm sitting here yawning after all the sleep I've had today, but I am. Geeze, I feel like Rip Van Wrinkle! I give up. Tomorrow is another day, maybe, I'll wake up feeling better. Good night.



Okay, all the NEW photos are on my Haunt blog. (here) I added them to the last post, so you'll have to scan down (past yesterday's post) to see the new ones. I wanted to keep them all on one post, so as not to confuse Roy's poker buddies. (I realise that you guys all saw the photos on Friday's post, on my blog.) Any way, check it out, okay? I don't know what the deal is, every time I post a bunch of photos, I end up with a shit load of blank space at the bottom. I think it's because I download them then, shuffle them around. I don't know how to get rid of the blank space, so try to bear with me and my technological stupidity - Sorry.

BTW, I don't know ANYONE at - they just showed up. I have no clue what's up with that. LOL But, if y'all read this blog - My son, Nick, would like to work for you . . .he likes to tear shit up - and he's good at it too.

Okay, It's been a long day, without much sleep, so I'm gonna tuck myself in to bed now.

Love Ya,

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I need a bigger, better button !

Hey there,

Y'all may, or may not, have noticed that I have been MIA the past few days - We have had some er, Technical Difficulties with our Internet/phone/cable. (like I ran out of money to pay the bill, and they ran out of good will to keep me connected.) But I paid them today, and did my best to at least seem appropriately apologetic, and all seems forgiven. Well, at least they pressed the little button somewhere, and gave me back my connections.

You know, there was a time, when the only button we worried about being pressed was "The Button". The button kept in some highly secret, triple secured, area that would "change the world as we knew it". Now days, there are far too many people, with their fingers ready to press all manner of buttons, that can change our lives as we know it. Now, everyone has a button! Shit, I want a button too !! I don't even need an 'off' button, most days, I'd be happy just to have a 'volume' button. (Or a 'mute' button - that would be nice) All I have is a lousy button that gives me an extra 7 minutes of sleep. It's not enough ! Oh hell, let's face it, I'm far too irresponsible for a real button - I manage to screw things up with the damn snooze button.

Oh well. Amazingly, not a hell of a lot happened over the few days while I was cut off from the Internet world. My kids have been home - out of school for parent teacher conferences. It seems that public school teachers need two whole days, just to figure out what my kids have been doing for the past 9 weeks, and how to break the news to me. I think it would be a lot more interesting if I were to tell them, what my kids say and do at home. I went to Heather's parent - teacher conference on Thursday. Heather has all A's and one B, and apparently, no behavior problems to speak of. Not a big surprise to me. However, Heather came home from school last week, and informed me that her Teacher had burst into tears in the middle of class because, 'they (her class) just don't listen to her!' I spent most of the 20 minute conference looking at this calm , composed, and professional, woman, and trying to imagine her in hysterical, frustrated, tears over a bunch of kids that won't listen. The whole time, I kept thinking,

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all this shit about my daughter, maybe we should talk about your issues? It's okay. You want to know how many times I've locked myself in the bathroom and cried because they won't listen to me?!"

I didn't even go to Jake's conference. Partly because I spent all of Friday waiting for an incompetent plumber to show up and fix our main drain. (who never did show up) Also because, I already knew what his teacher's will say. Junior high school conferences are more time consuming than elementary school. I have to meet with 6 different teachers and try to comfort them ALL as they cry. Then, I have to make a bunch of promises that I know my son won't keep. It's all very repetitive and pointless. So I decided to skip the middle man this year, and just give Jake his quarterly lecture and restriction of privileges. I don't need the added stress of meeting with his teachers.

Well, I didn't want to do this yet, but ever since I set up our home haunt blog, my hubby has been on line with his poker buddies bragging about all the stuff we are doing this year. He's so cute, every time he adds a new light or buzzer to his mad scientists lab equipment, he calls over all the neighborhood kids to show them. He just doesn't understand the concept of surprise. He keeps asking me when I am going to post the new photos onto the blog? I told him ,

"the day after Halloween." Then, he says nothing.

He asked again tonight, and I said,

"Why? Do you want me to post them now?" He gave me this exasperated look and said,

"Yeah, everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to post the new photos !"

So . . . Even though everything is not finished yet, I guess I have to make my hubby happy. I'm going to post the photos that I have, and tomorrow, I'll take photos of the stuff we have done this week, and add them tomorrow night. This will just be a temporary post until after Halloween, when I'll put them all together in a slide show. So, if you want a sneak peek, check here Saturday afternoon. I guess I'll just keep adding as we go.

Oh my Gosh !!! I am sitting here at 1:45 AM. Everyone is asleep, including my dogs, sprawled all over the living room furniture. All of a sudden, I heard a thump at the front window. I look up, and the neighborhood evil cat is peering through the front window at me! She must have clawed her way up haunter's robe and sat on his head to peer in at us. I bit my lip trying not to respond and thus, alert my dogs; but it was too late, they were all on the back of the couch, bumping their noses on the glass, and raising Cain in a matter of seconds!! Too funny ! The cat just gazed at them with a bored expression, swished her tail, and hoped down. Now, they're pissed - they HATE that cat !!! O'course, I won't be very happy either, if I find out she has shredded my prop. (Still, I sort of wish I could have been outside with my camera, to get a photo of this crazy cat sitting on top of big scary haunter's head.) Well, I guess I better go comfort my dogs before they wake the whole house.

Good night, and have a great weekend, and Happy Birthday, Mel !!!!



Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Time for Change

I am bored. It's been rainy and dreary all day long.

I knocked out my housework this morning, then spent the rest of the afternoon in the garage working on Elizabeth. (my new Halloween prop) I am really pleased with how she is coming along. I really only have a few details left to finish her off. She has a very Tim Burton-esque look to her. I wish I could put her out when she is done, but I don't think she'll tolerate the wet weather well. Also, I plan on putting her on the front porch and there isn't room for her, if we plan on using the door. So I have to be patient and wait for Halloween night.

I am finding that I'm really enjoying all this creativity. It's been so long since I've taken the time to do things that I enjoy. I have this whole area down stairs, set aside for being creative, but I rarely use it. (except for special projects) Normally, I get so busy with day to day life, that I just don't have time. I need to make time for things that make me happy. I think that's probably the reason that I want to go back to school - so I will have a reason to be creative. I shouldn't have to invent excuses to do something that I love, something that makes me happy. If I don't set my own priorities, somebody else, or everyone else, will do it for me.

My kids are old enough that they don't need me 24/7 anymore. I think I need to get over thinking that I should come last. It's just so hard to change old habits, but I think it's time.

Well, I need to get some sleep, my eyes are feeling heavy.

Good night.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Another lovely day !

I wasn't so sure it was going to be, but it all worked out nicely. I woke this morning to my daughter's voice, telling her dad that we had no electricity. I popped right up because, I had just paid the bill on Friday, and my first thought was that they didn't get the payment. After making some phone calls, I found out that it was an equipment problem with the utility company, and that they were already working on it. (DUH ! I could have just looked out the front window to see the workmen and their giant work truck ! ) Once I was assured that all that could be done, was being done, I decided to go back to bed. (It was my original plan to sleep in this morning)
So, I climbed the stairs, hopped under the blankets, settled in with my three boys curled up beside me, and closed my eyes. As I laid there, I listened to the blissful silence; no fan, no TV, no radio. Nothing. It was just TOO weird. Way too quiet. Midnight decided that he needed a morning bath, and started licking his front paws, slurp, slurp, slurp . . . UGH! I couldn't stand it!!!

I got up, got dressed, and went downstairs to grumble at someone. Except, they were all outside, enjoying the gorgeous day. So I thought, 'what the hell, I'll go play too.' Turned out to be a good idea. Roy and I eventually ended up in the garage, and we started brainstorming for the Asylum. Within an hour, the electric was back on, Heather was contentedly clicking away on the keyboard, so my hubby and I loaded up to go shopping for some missing Asylum supplies.
We spent the whole afternoon cruising all over town, just playing around, just the two of us with the sun shinning and a nice cool breeze - we had a great time!

Around 4PM, we had most of the stuff we needed, and Jake called and asked if he could go to the movies with Christian. We picked them up and dropped them off at the theater and headed back to the garage with our stuff. Nick and Jennifer were just getting home, so they joined in to help. I'm not real sure if 'help'' is the right word, but we had fun.

Nick has been sober for eight days now, and he's slowly transforming back to the son that I like to spend time with. While I worked on some static props; He and Roy, started playing around with wires, and capacitors, and electricity. They finally rigged up a little thingie that shoots a tiny electrical current from one wire to another. It's only about 1/2 inch across, but it rotates around a wheel. Nothing dangerous, only about as many volts as a carpet shock, but it LOOKS really cool !!

By the time they were done, Jake had come home, and I had three, wise ass, guys critiquing the cleavage on my newest creation, Elizabeth. She's a five foot tall (152.4 cm) 1900's (kind of Gothic looking) prop. (You'll have to wait to see the horrible things I do with her.) Anyway, I think she's lovely, but the guys keep trying to feel her up when my back is turned - ANIMALS !
God damn perverts!

So, we all had a good time. It was 8:30 PM by the time we were done playing around and got cleaned up. I kind of missed my daughter, Heather, but she was happiest chatting with her friends on line. She promised to spend some time with me tomorrow, so I guess that's alright. Well, I have a few things to get caught up on inside.

Oh shit!! I just found out ( on the news) that it's supposed to get down close to freezing on Wednesday night. So I'll have to get all my plants moved inside this week. Not looking forward to that . . .

Okay, I gotta get off my butt and do something constructive around here. Unless, of course, there's something good on TV . . .Good night.


Dazed and Confused

I am SO confused ! Since the kids were off School Friday for end of Quarter, I have no idea what day it is! Friday, felt like Saturday; Saturday, (today) felt like Sunday, I'm afraid to go to sleep, because I have no idea what to expect when I wake up !!

At least, so far, my weekend has been pretty good. Friday, I think, Roy got off work early, and he actually volunteered to go to the grocery store with me!! Jake had a couple of friends spend the night on Thursday, so he was overnight at their house on Friday. Which means after our outing to the grocery store, things were actually quiet enough for Roy and I to watch a movie !

This evening, Roy and I sneaked off, without the kids, to go visit my mother and go to dinner with her. That was nice too. Jake is spending the night at Christian's house this evening, so Roy and I got to work on our haunt together tonight. Hmm . . . I could learn to get used to this - we don't usually get much time together. It's sort of got me to thinking . . . one of these days, my kids just might grow up! Nah, What the hell am I thinkin'? That won't ever happen ! Not MY kids !

My youngest son informed me today, that he and one of his friends got kicked out of the local grocery store. Apparently, he and his friend got bored and wandered down to the grocery store to hang out. They both got themselves carts, and wandered through the isles filling them up with the silliest things they could find; Boxes of tampons, home pregnancy tests, underwear, etc. As they strolled through the store, giggling at their silliness, they were approached by the manager, who asked them if they actually intended to purchase 20 boxes of tampons? When they told him that left their charge cards at home, he asked them to leave. They offered to put the items back, but he said it was probably best if they just went home. All I could do was roll my eyes as he told me this. 14 year old boys shouldn't be allowed out of the house. (at least not without a shock collar)

Other than that, Nick is doing well - working and staying sober. (7 days and counting) Jennifer starts her new job on Monday. She applied for and got, a second part time job at the local movie theater. All she has to do is figure out how to schedule her hours for both jobs - we'll see how that goes.

Well, I need to go get myself to bed so I can get up at a decent hour. I hope you all enjoy your weekend !
Good night.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Getting back on track

Okay, I am home now, and I guess the whole traffic court issue has been resolved. The DA finally called. She said, "Whatever, just come on in tonight, we'll figure out what to do." Of course, that's not an exact quote, I have no idea what she really said - I wasn't really listening. I was too pissed off because, by the time she got around to returning my call, it was almost 4:30 PM, and my day was shot.

When I got to court, She amended my ticket for 'failure to provide insurance', to a non - moving violation. ( so it won't affect my insurance rates or driving record) Then, she dismissed the original charge of 'failing to yield to an emergency vehicle'. And since I had long ago re-tagged my car, the charges of 'failure to register my car' were also dismissed. (she didn't even ask to see verification of it!)

So I am left wondering, 'what exactly was the point of this whole ordeal ?' Oh Yeah ! They have my money !!! 204 dollars, and 50 cents worth of it, to be exact. I feel totally screwed and scammed by the system. This is not justice, it's not responsible law enforcement, it's a big freakin' Monopoly game for them ! And they always win because, they are randomly drafting the other players; dangling a get out of jail free card in our face, in exchange for Park Place rent ! What a crock ! Well, at least I didn't have to go to jail.

Anyway, since I came home feeling abused and vindictive, I decided to sit down and concoct the "legend" for our Howling Hollow home haunt. It's the fictional story behind our ghoulish Halloween efforts. Not only does it add to the Halloween magic, but it helps to keep my deranged husband focused and on track.

The other day, I went into the garage to find him designing a guillotine. My first thought was, 'Hmmm, I wonder who he's pissed off at now?" Then, he told me it was for our home haunt.

I gave him that funny little head tilt that Pete gives me sometimes, and I said,
"Uh, Honey, we have an Insane Asylum. I've seen a lot of shrinks, and I personally know a lot of crazy people; furthermore, I've done a lot of research on early psychiatric treatment and practices. To the best of my knowledge, decapitation has never been a widely accepted form of treatment for mental disorders. Electroshock therapy, isolation, lobotomies . . . okay. But, even during the turn of the century, total removal of the head . . . seems a bit drastic, and a violation of the Hippocratic oath. While it may be effective, it sort of defeats the purpose."

He stopped in mid-saw and gave me a sad look. "Oh. Okay. So . . . No guillotine?"

I knew that he was disappointed, but I told him, "No, not this year, Honey. Maybe later, we could add a torture chamber in the basement, okay?"

That seemed to cheer him up a bit.

I have to admit that things are getting a little weird around my house, but at least it's interesting. If you'd like to read "The Legend of Howling Hollow Asylum and Cemetery," I posted it on our Howling Hollow Blog.

Okay, it's been a long day and I need to get myself to bed. The kids are off school tomorrow so, I told them that they could come with me to the Halloween Spirits store to help gather some ideas. Having them tag along will be an . . . adventure ?

Good night.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

It doesn't take much . . .

Hmmmm . . . I'm feeling a little frustrated right now. This day is NOT working out as I had planned. I did get up and get Heather to school on time, except after she was out the door, I decided to lay back down in bed. (you know, just to warm my little piggies under the blankets?)

Well, damn it, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until almost noon! What the Hell is with that?! I may be old and decrepit, but my body doesn't need THAT much sleep!

When I woke up and wandered into the kitchen, I found that Jennifer was home, again. Same story as yesterday, apparently, Labor Ready doesn't have a lot of openings for "princess positions." I don't mean to sound bitter. I really DO like her, she's a sweet girl - I'm just feeling frustrated lately, and I guess I have to take it out on someone.

Anyway, I had made a note to myself to call the court house in Edwardsville today. I am supposed to return tonight and show them receipts for three months of insurance payments so that they can amend my ticket and get all this legal crap over and done with. The problem is, in a little town like Edwardsville, they only have traffic court once a month. And while I have kept current with my insurance payments, I only have two (not three) months of receipts because, my October payment isn't due until the 20th. So I called to see if we could reschedule my court date until next month, so that I don't make a trip for nothing. I figured that this would be a simple chore and I could be on and about with my regularly scheduled activities - Right? Wrong! They have a new district attorney (for all I know, they rotate lawyers to fill the position of District Attorney on a regular basis in a Podunk little town like that) and of course, the "new District Attorney" (who is actually just a local lawyer) is out of the office. I left a message with my request/question and I am still sitting here, two hours later, waiting for a return call. You know, most lawyers have Secretaries, and cell phones, for situations like this - what the hell is their problem? The reality is, I could be sitting here ALL DAY waiting to hear back, and STILL end up having to show up in court tonight, so that I can explain the situation to them - again - and who knows what they will decide to do? This whole thing could drag on forever! In the meantime, my day is screwed. Okay, I know that the whole thing sounds petty, but I really despise lawyers and the whole legal system. DAMN the man !!! People wonder why our society is screwed up - spend a little time dealing with these people, and it all starts to make sense ! It's NOT all neat and tidy like it is on TV. Most of these people are complete morons.

Ugh ! Okay, take a deep breath. I'm getting myself all worked up here. I suppose I could be doing some things around the house in the meantime, but that's just "busy work" and I'd rather be walking the dogs, or out of the house. And sure as shit, the minute I walk out the door, the phone will ring. Okay, enough ! Even busy work is better than this disgraceful, and juvenile, display of frustration. I'm just blowing off steam here. I need to do something. Maybe, I'll call my husband at work, and cry on his shoulder ? Pfft! He's not likely to be much comfort. Okay, I'm going to go vacuum something, or re-organize a closet, or some such bullshit. If they don't call soon, you'll probably find me scrubbing the bathroom.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Mother's little helpers

UGH ! What a day! I got up this morning to wake Heather at 7:00 AM. Now yesterday, Roy had let Heather stay home because, she complained of a stomach ache and a sore back. After talking with her yesterday, I explained that symptoms such as these, are very common with young ladies her age, and that next time, she should take a Tylenol and try to muddle through the day like the rest of us cursed females. Anyway, when I went to wake Heather this morning, she groaned and asked for another 30 minutes. (which is becoming sort of a regular thing lately.) I sighed, rolled my eyes, and went to reset my alarm for 7:30. I vaguely remember waking the second time, and I know that I went to wake her again, after that, it all gets a little fuzzy. I must have gone back to bed because, the next thing I remember was Heather waking me at 9:30 AM. I was so frustrated and tired at that point, that I asked her if she was dressed and ready for me to take her to school. When she said no, and that she really didn't want to arrive at school so late, I didn't even argue. Unfortunately, I was only able to get another half hour sleep before the phone started ringing. (my other daughter)

Once I was up and about, and feeling adequately guilty for lousy parenting skills, I inquired as to whether Jennifer, my new foster adult/child, had gone to work at Labor Ready as planned. Jennifer poked her head out of her room to tell me that she had, in fact, gone down to Labor Ready, but they didn't have any temp assignments for her. She then explained, that she looked like she had been sleeping because, she had just dosed off for a minute while reading. Uh - huh.

So . . . determined not to be thwarted from accomplishing my designated housewifey chores, I began my day. I got dressed and began the usual morning job of making my bed. Maybe, this seems like a simple task, but not in my house. Here, at the asylum, there is a ritual that must be strictly adhered to. I begin by pulling all the pillows off the bed. This is the dogs cue to come-a-runnin'. All five dogs jump on the bed and look at me with wagging tails, and bright shiny eyes, as if to say, 'let the fun begin!' I shake my head, snap my fingers, and point to the floor. One by one, they all jump off the bed and look at me, grinning their doggy grins. In spite of what I know is coming, I tell them all that they are all, 'such good dogs' for obeying, and they wag their tails happily. I turn to the bed, and begin shaking out the blankets and putting them in order. Within seconds, they are all back on the bed, holding down the sheets, and bouncing around playing a game of doggie mosh pit on my bed. The entire process is then repeated 2-3 times before they decide that they have pushed mom to her limit, and they patiently wait on the bedroom floor, for me to finish making the bed. When I have placed the last pillow, and brushed out the last wrinkle, they all climb back on, and look at me as if to say, "What's next, mom?!"

This morning, they all followed me downstairs to the laundry room. They love the laundry room. There's lots of space for the puppies to play and rough house, and Angel loves to hunt for crickets. Pete and Princess love to try to make off with any stray dryer sheets that they find on the floor. After almost 5 days of ignoring the laundry, there was lots to do.

Yesterday, Jennifer had done some laundry for her and Nick, and their things were everywhere. So I poked my head upstairs, and found Jennifer watching a movie with Heather on the couch. So, I told Jennifer that she and I were going to move their dresser from the garage, back to their bedroom; that way, she could actually put their laundry away. I also told Heather that she could take advantage of her day off to get her room clean. ( like she was supposed to do last night)Heather groaned and went upstairs. Jennifer did get up and help me to move the dresser, but rather than putting their clothes away, she went back to the couch. (Jennifer really isn't the most motivated person. She would be quite content to spend her days sitting in front of the TV, munching bon-bons. ) I carried their laundry to their room and left it for them to deal with -at least it was out of my space.

I took advantage of the sunshine and dry weather to spray seal some of my Halloween projects. That pissed off the dogs, because I had to do it outside, in the drive way, and they couldn't come with me. So they had to settle for supervising from the front window. Alot of the neighbors allow their dogs out front, as long as they are with them. Nick takes them with him when he is working out front, but I just don't allow it. There are too many of them for me to keep an eye on, and we live too close to the corner. People turn on to our street too fast. ( Last week, the neighbor's St. Bernard was hit and killed, before they could even react.)

I finally finished cleaning house around 2PM. For the most part, Jennifer spent her day on the couch. When I finished vacuuming, she took the sweeper and vacuumed the couch. When she was done, she told me, " . . .that she wanted to be able to tell Nick that she did something today." I'm sure he'll be very proud.

Since it was so nice outside, I decided that instead of taking the dogs for their walks in groups of two and three, I would take them individually, for a mile each. I was feeling a little frustrated with Jennifer, and I just wanted to get some extra time out of the house. Besides, I really like to walk the dogs one at a time. They get so excited to have mom all to themselves; the puppies bounce along beside me and look up at me, as if to say, "You're the greatest, Mom! " It's been so long since I've done that, I had forgotten what walking five miles was like. In the end, I took the girls together, and only did four miles. That was more than enough for my legs and back.

After I fed the dogs and cooked dinner for the family, I had to go lay down for a while to rest my back. I couldn't actually manage a nap, because all the dogs wanted have nap time with mom, using me as a pillow.

Anyway, I feel like I've managed to get most of the housework caught up, and I'm really looking forward to getting out tomorrow and doing some shopping. I just hope that Jennifer finds some temp work until she starts her new job on Saturday. It drives me crazy to have someone, who is perfectly cape able of working, to be vegetating on my couch, during the week. I don't have a problem with people taking a day off once in a while, and weekend relaxation is earned, but she openly admits that she just doesn't like to work. She is perfectly happy to sit and watch TV all day long. I don't get that. Even my dogs refuse to live that way. If they aren't doing something with me all the time, they don't think they are doing their jobs. They may not be much help, but they make my day a lot brighter.

Okay, I need to get to bed. Roy is leaving for work early tomorrow, and my daughter IS going to school in the morning.

Good night.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Avioding the world - as much as possible.

Things have been pretty quiet around here lately, at least for me. It's been rainy and cool, so I've spent the last few days in the garage working on our haunt. It's felt really good to be painting and creating things again. I haven't had time to do any thing creative in ages. No drawing, no painting, nothing. I've just been too busy.

In fact, I think I've kind of used this project to escape life in general. I've done the bare minimum housework, and being out in the garage, I've managed to (mostly) escape dealing with Nick's withdrawls and anxiety. He's been sober since our "chat" Sunday morning, so he's been a train wreck. He's spent most of his time with Jennifer, looking for jobs - for both of them. Amazingly, in spite of his condition, they both managed to get jobs this afternoon. Finding a job improved his attitude 100%. Thank God ! I was about to lose my mind. Nick starts work as a painter tomorrow morning, and Jennifer goes to work at a party supply shop either Friday or Saturday.

Unfortunately, I've reached a point on the haunt project that I have to stop until I can do some shopping and get some supplies. So . . . I'll probably get caught up on my house work tomorrow, and since it's supposed to be sunny, I can get out with the dogs too. Maybe, I can get out on Thursday and shop. At least, that's my plan. We'll see how it goes.

I've also got my return court date on Thursday night in Edwardsville. That should be fun. Since I know how the operate now, I'm going to try to get there early, and maybe, I won't have to waste an entire evening there.

Friday is the end of the first School quarter, and the kids are out of school for the day, so it will probably be next weekend before I can get back to work on the Asylum.

So, Like I said, there isn't much happening around here - and I'm kind of enjoying that. I think that I'm going to go soak in the tub, and get to bed early - for a change.

Good night all.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Working weekend

Hey there,

I'm feeling kind of . . . exhausted. Roy and I have spent the weekend working on the haunt. I finished my sign on Friday, and on Saturday, I built a coffin, finished Crazy Daisy, and Roy hung the sign and added some more electrical outside. I think that I am done outside - until Halloween night. Today, we started focusing on the Asylum. (the inside of the garage.)

I also had a very ugly discussion with Nick and Jennifer. Ugly, because I had to tell him a lot of facts that he just didn't want to hear. It's funny how when you live with an addict, you end up tip toeing around, doing your best to not say or do the wrong thing, something that will make things worse. I think, because it maybe a tiny and insignificant thing, but it seems like it's the only control we have. Life with an addict can be so crazy, we grasp at any straw we can find that makes us feel even a little bit sane and normal. Things have gotten so desperate with Nick that this morning, I just decided to quit grasping and try to focus on just "floating on faith." So, the words were ugly, but they were true, and that felt good. Shit, it might even work. O'course, I've already made a mental note not to hold my breath. We'll see. Always have to wait and see for everything.
Okay, I've still got a bunch of stuff to do. I took some photos of Crazy Daisy and the sign. These will be the last photos until Halloween. I have to leave some things as a surprise.

This is our Asylum sign. It looks really awesome with the lights on, but it really doesn't photograph well.

This is Crazy Daisy. She stands next to the clock tower and greets our victims - uh . . . I mean, guests.
Okay, gotta go. I've got to get busy cleaning up the post weekend Chaos. Thankfully, Jake and Heather, and their entourage, spent most of this weekend at Jasmin's house attending Christian's Birthday party. (I wasn't invited - cool teenagers only!) Hope you all had a glorious weekend.
Love ya,

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Life's not fair. It sucks.


This has been a really rough past few days. I think, around Tuesday, I started feeling really crappy. Sneezing, coughing, runny nose, headache, scratchy throat, and itchy eyes - God, I just love allergies! Why do they always have to happen during the very best seasons? You struggle through the LONG winter season, and when spring finally returns, so do your allergies. Or, after battling all the heat and humidity of summer, we finally get some days cool enough to get out and enjoy in the fall - except for all the shitty allergy crap RUINS it !!!! (Not to mention, allergies make you feel cranky and bitchy)

To be honest, the way things have been going, I don't really need allergies to feel cranky and bitchy. Let me explain. I was sitting here at home Wednesday night, and suddenly, my son and his girlfriend come walking through my front door. Nick, is SUPPOSED to be in rehab. He hasn't been there long enough to earn a pass. As soon as I looked into his bloodshot, glazed eyes, I had a pretty good idea what had happened. When he opened his mouth to speak, I was certain of it. He asked Roy and I, to sit down with him and Jennifer , at the kitchen table, to "talk". HA ! He was drunk and he had a story to tell.

According to Nick, he got thrown out of rehab for breaking a rule. (He accepted a $3 tip from a customer) After he repeated the story, stressing every tiny injustice, for the 6th time, - Nick tends to repeat himself when he's been drinking - Roy and I were finally able to get him to shut up and listen to us. I felt like I was talking to a 2 year old as I tried to explain to him that,

"Life, is just heaping full of things that aren't fair - that doesn't make it okay to go out and do things, like getting drunk. He has to learn how to deal with life's little set backs and stresses, or at the very least, quit using them as excuses to drink or do drugs. However, since he had already made that choice, I told him that he was NOT allowed to show up at my house and bitch about it."

Nick and Jennifer looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. I said,

"Good night guys, you have to leave now. It is NOT okay for you to show up drunk, at my house, no matter what horrible, unfair thing happened. Your screw ups, and bad choices, ARE NOT MY PROBLEM. Good bye." When Nick has been drinking, you have to be pretty blunt,- and talk VERY slowly. But Nick and Jennifer continued to look at me like I was crazy. Finally, Nick said,

"where are we supposed to go?"

I said, "I don't know. Jennifer was silly enough to pick you up. Maybe you can go spend the night at her house? I'm sure that her parents will be sympathetic to your problem."

After about 15 minutes of more stupid and ridiculous conversation, they left.

The problem was, they came back Thursday morning. At least he was sober by then. He asked if he could take a shower and make some phone calls, and I said fine, and I went about my regular days work. Around 2PM, I went to the garage to work on my painting project and noticed that he had backed Jennifer's car up to the garage, and was unloading his stuff. I started Yelling, "NO, NO, NO!!! You are NOT moving back in here!" He actually had the nerve to be genuinely puzzled.

I pointed out that based on his condition last night, he OBVIOUSLY had no intentions (nor the ability) to stay sober. Furthermore, it's become painfully obvious to me, that being at home is not a good place for him. If environment has anything to do with his sobriety, then, it's been proved over, and over again, that being here will have disastrous results - for everyone. Nick wants to make it sound like I have "given up on him". I told him that isn't true. The only thing I have given up on, is repeating the same mistakes over and over. I told him that he has a few days to come up with some kind of game plan - and it had better not be one that has already failed. At this point, I don't care how crazy it might sound - just do something DIFFERENT !! I KNOW that recovery is possible, and I will NOT let him give up trying, but I won't sit by and allow him to do the same things over and over, and foolishly pray for different results. I know that I really don't have a lot of control over most of his choices, but I WILL take control over any choice that involves me allowing him to ignore his issues, or just to quit trying. And if that means that I have to be a bitch . . . I don't like it, but it's better than watching him die, or end up in prison.
He is doing his best to manipulate me. He has no idea how hard it is for me to admit that him being at home - isn't good for him. Nick spent most of his developmental teen years in State's Custody. Not of MY choosing, but because his addiction made it impossible for him to stay out of trouble, and out of the juvenile court system. His actions and behavior took it all out of my control. It seems like I spent so many years fighting, just to get my son home, fighting to prevent the state from placing him in facilities that would destroy his spirit. But once the state takes custody of your child - wining is a lost cause. They do whatever is convenient for them. They claim that their actions are "in his best interest," They didn't know, or care, about my child. Their ONLY knowledge of him came from psychiatrists, counselors, and a host of supposed "experts", who compile reports; and still, they knew nothing about him. They didn't know him, like I know him, and they didn't want to. They put him in places, and situations that were abusive, dangerous, and would be mentally destructive to anyone. And I could do nothing about it. NO lawyer would take my case to fight for him. I tried to speak as often as I could, during the hundreds of meetings and hearings, but Nick's court appointed attorney did his best to stop me because, he said that it would only make the judge, and the state angry. I was supposed to be "grateful" that my son was some one else's problem; That the state was "kind enough to take him off my hands." Worst of all, they led Nick to believe that I "signed him over !" They didn't ASK my permission for anything - they TOOK him. ( Then, they took ME to court, and said I had to pay child support - to the state - or they would put ME in jail, and take my other children ! )

Nick may have had some issues when he was 13, but the 19 year old that they returned to me, isn't your typical addict. He doesn't just drink and do drugs to get high, but he does them so he doesn't have to remember all the horrible things they did to him. And he has NO idea how to live any kind of "Normal" life. Even some of the simplest tasks, like making a long distance phone call. Up until last year, He honestly believed, that dialing 1+ the area code, was a "secret code" that was being kept from him. For years when he was in jail, JDC, rehab, or any of halfway homes that they put him in, the supervisor used to dial the number for him, so that he could only speak to people on his "approved call list." Even though almost all the calls he made were toll calls, he had no idea how to actually make one. How sad is that?

So, yeah, it's really hard for me to say, "Sorry Nick, , living here, being at home, isn't good for you." I spent so many years, fighting, and praying to get my son back, to have him home again.

"Sorry, I know it isn't fair. NOTHING is fair, but that's the way it is." It seems pretty God damned lame.

Okay, I've managed to depress myself enough for one night. I really have to get to bed so I can wake up and go to the ob/gyn in the morning. More tests, *sigh*

Good night,

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Halloween Yard Haunt Preview

Okay, I've been busy, busy, busy. But I haven't forgotten you all. I tried to get photos on Monday, but the stupid camera was filled with four dead batteries! This is a senario that is played, and replayed, in my home on a daily, no, hourly basis. I open the refrigerator to find three empty kool-aid pitchers sitting on the shelf. I get into the shower only to discover that we have the worlds largest collection of empty shampoo bottles. I spend 80% of my life escorting empty cups, soda cans, and food wrappers from the living room to the trash can. You get the idea, right? Anyway, by the time I got new batteries, the magic moment of sundown was gone, and so was the magical moment when my camera will produce veiwable Halloween photos.
However, I got them last night. I have a ton of them. some of them will look very similar to last years display; however, I am working on the premise that everything is incomplete until Halloween night. (I still have alot of ideas that I want to implement before then.) Next year, my goal is to have a finished haunt, no later than October 1st. That way, we can spend the next 31 doing the fun stuff of making it all come alive. So, I am posting some of these photos (that seem familiar) because my photography seems to be improving slightly, and I want you to see them more as they were intended to look.

In addition to photo taking, I had some other issues develop last night, that I think I'll have to deal with today. My son and Jennifer, showed up at the house last night. Long story that is more than a little incomplete just yet. *SIGH* I'll let you know what happened as soon as I figure it out. In the mean time . . . .

Jack (the ripper) and (bloody) Mary, have returned as cemetery greeters this year. I have some ideas to update, and accessorize them further, before the big night.

This is my newly created Bloody Skull fountain. I made it from scratch using spare parts that I found laying around the garage. I bought the plastic bones and skulls and 'corpsilated' them so the looked more realistic, and less like ivory plastic. I used a water pump from an old fish tank to pump the blood that trickles out the eye sockets and jaw. I' still need to figure out a clever lighting solution so that it gets more attention at night.

This is my Asylum Clock tower that I added at the last minute last year. I updated it a bit this year by adding a painted gargoyle at the base and a few other painted embelishments. Like the Bloody Skull fountain, it also could use some subtle mood lighting to bring it all together - still working on that. I'm still working on painting the Howling Hollow Asylum sign that will go over the garage door. (This will be the Asylum entrance on Halloween night.)

This is Haunter, our Graveyard Grim Reaper. He is another last minute addition from last year that needed some extra work. I gave him a shovel to help him dig up and gather those souls, and a hatchet - just in case. I'd like to eventually add a few skeletal grave robers to keep him company, but probably not this year.

Graveyard at Sunset. B.K. Crawler makes a return appearance this year.

A new light up Grave stone that I added a raven to. I plan to eventually replace all of the smaller gravestones with original, handmade head stones. But that's another project that will require some time and materials.

This is my favorite photo, that happen completely by accident. If you click on it and enlarge, you'll notice the five pairs of reflective eyes looking out the window. (my five dogs, who were upset that Mom was playing in the front yard without them.

A front yard view from a different perspective.