Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Simply Irresistible!

One of the things that I like best about living with a pack of dogs is being able to observe them and their behaviors. The more I watch them, the more I realise that human beings, are a fairly screwed up species.

Right now, my littlest dog, Princess is in heat. Anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis knows who Princess is. She is an obese, bossy, selfish, instigating little Miniature Pincher. She does have a few appealing and amusing, semi-redeeming qualities, but when she's in heat . . . I can't think of a single one. I haven't had Princess spayed because, well, deep down, I'm hoping that we might eventually find Princess better living arrangements, and since she is a pure bred, being biologically intact might be important. However, the main reason I have put off having her fixed is that since coming to live with us, and my four other dogs, she has become a little piggy, more than doubling her ideal weight. While most days, she's a thorn in my side, I don't want to risk putting her through a major surgery while she is carrying around so much weight. I haven't had my boys fixed because there are 3 of them, and so far, I just haven't been able to afford the expense.

Now I realise that when I say I have three un-neutered male dogs, and one bitch in heat, living in my home, the image that comes to mind is not necessarily a pretty one. And certainly not an inspiring one, but let me explain. First of all, all three of my boys are lab mixes - big dogs - and princess is tiny. It just isn't physically possible for them to mate, and believe me, the boys have tried every possible approach. Second of all, Princess is just too damn mean to allow any of them to get close enough to her. Without a doubt, she's in charge around here. There is rarely a day that goes by when she doesn't have one of my big brave boys running for cover in a state of fear and panic, because Princess is absolutely fearless, as well as ruthless. On some level, the boys know that they haven't a chance. All the same, nature and hormones will make men do stupid and insane things.

When Princess is at the pinnacle of her cycle, the boys follow her around like the paparazzi stalking Brad and Angelina. There isn't a movement or gesture that doesn't hold them completely enthralled. Since Princess is a little dog with a fair amount of energy, she doesn't walk through a room - she scampers. It's almost impossible for her long legged, overly excited, male entourage to follow her in my crowded house without stepping on her, or each other. She also has a penchant for squeezing into small, tight places that the boys will never fit into - but that doesn't mean that they won't try. So far this week, the guys have knocked over countless drinks left sitting on tables with their excited tail wagging, they have bull-dozed several chairs and small tables in their attempts to get to her, and if you see them coming towards you, you had best move out of the way, because they will stop for nothing to be by her side. Twice a year, Princess goes from being a 30 pound, four legged, pain in my ass; to a being a 250 pound, 16 legged, monster, that leaves a path of destruction and chaos in it's wake. And God forbid she should leave their sight, say to go for a walk, or into her kennel ! Then, all the whimpers and whinges become a chorus of mournful howls and doggie hysterics. When Her Majesty sleeps, they post themselves on guard around her like the sentries at Buckingham Palace. I have watched them as they sat panting until their eyes closed from exhaustion. Of course, the minute that she so much as twitches, their eyes snap open, and they patiently await her next wondrous and magical move.

My sweet boys become so single minded and focused that they cannot be distracted by anything. Their favorite toys have no effect on them. All their training and obedience goes right out the window. Even food is use less. When I offer them their favorite treats, they take it in their mouths, humbly and gently, laying it at Princess' feet, with their heads bowed, like the three magi offering gifts to the Christ child. They won't even eat at their regular feedings ! They stand by while Princess greedily gorges herself on everything in sight.

What I find really amazing, is that their "animal instincts" are not as mindless as people think. Instead of turning them into crazed brutes on a mission to mate, their natural instincts seem to make them more of who they really are - deep down, inside. After all, dogs don't play the social games that humans do when they seek out a life partner.

Pete, my loyal and true dog, seems to have it the worst. While he can't fight nature, he keeps running over to Angel, sniffing, then giving her a puzzled look. He just doesn't understand why Angel was spayed when she delivered his pups - it doesn't seem fair to him. Instead of the dog that he loves, he has to deal with this angry, snarling little bitch. Pete is responsible for 90% of the whimpering and whinging that goes on. He also ends up with the most injuries at the end of the week.

Midnight is my gentle and romantic cuddle bug. He's such a little Romeo, he always loves Princess, no matter how she smells. When he can get close enough to her, all he wants to do is lick her ears and face until she is sopping wet and sound asleep next to him. Unfortunately, she rarely lets that happen.

Phoenix is my insecure-dominant pup. He is by far the biggest and strongest of the three, but his shy and gentle heart keeps him from being taken seriously by anyone. He is a bit of a show off with a fabulous sense of humor. His method of wooing Princess is to be a bit of a poser. He gets as close as he can to her and takes a protective stance with his back to her, and softly growls at his brother, Midnight. The two of them are such good playmates and buddies, if dogs could LOL, he would.

And of course, all of this brings out Princess' true colors as well. I hate to dwell on her less attractive qualities, but it's painfully obvious that none of these fabulous canine hunks is the dog of her dreams.

So . . . This afternoon, as I was folding laundry and watching my dogs make complete fools of themselves, I started to wonder, what if humans were more like dogs? What would happen if female humans could experience . . . well being treated like a Princess - at least once in their lives? ? What if every woman suddenly became irresistible to every male she came into contact with? What kind of an effect would it have on a woman's self image? And what if male humans could only respond to these new "instincts" in a natural way, by being who they REALLY are? No games, no bullshit. What if humans chose their mates without regard to looks, money, or social status?

Wolves (and dogs) mate for life. They chose their life partners carefully. A strong, loyal female will seek out a strong, loyal male; A shy and gentle female will look for a like minded partner. They know that it's easier to face all the ups and downs that nature has to offer as a team, rather than alone. They don't waste energy seeking out a "better" mate when things get rough - their survival, and the survival of their pack, depends on their fearless commitment to each other. I wonder what kind of world we would have, if humans were more "instinctual" about their approach to life and love?

Friday, February 20, 2009

Three Words

This one is from Kate - I love you, Kate
(This was harder than I thought)

Three words to describe me: Sarcastic, nurturing, evolving

Three words to describe you: entertaining, complicated, adorable

Three words to describe somebody I love: gentle, cuddly, furry

Three words to describe my blog: ordinary, wolfish, mine

Three words to describe my past: gone, done, over

Three words to describe my home town: traditional, midwestern, yuppyville

Three words to describe my bedroom: comfy, eclectic, soothing

Three words to describe my face: pale, wrinkly, old

Three words to describe my goals: creative, uncertain, unformed

Ok - now your turn!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Grand child # 4

Oh Lord, it's been a rough day. After almost a week of lovely spring-like weather, it's turned cold and grey again. On top of that, I went back on my Cymbalta after being out of them for two days, they always make me nauseous the first day back on. So I've spent most of my day either napping, or just sitting very still, trying not to puke.

Nick called this evening, he's so excited. He and Jennifer went to have a sonogram done and he got to see his baby for the first time. He emailed me the photo.

Good lookin' kid, huh? Seriously, Jen's only 11 weeks along, too soon to even tell if it's a boy or girl, but it's still a little person. I think it's just so amazing to be able to actually see and photograph a baby before it's born. Nick got so emotional he started crying. He's just like his dad, they're a couple of sentimental ol' poops.
Well, not much else going on around here, things are pretty boring, and I'm too exhausted to make anything up.
Good night all
Love ya,

Monday, February 16, 2009

Valentines weekend crazies

All in all, I think it's been a pretty good weekend. I woke Saturday morning to find these two dozen peach colored roses by my bed. That's a nice start, don't you think? Well, I thought so, so I went with it. Of course, I still have kids, who have friends, and dogs, and all the usual craziness, but even that wasn't so bad. My oldest son, Nick, got called out of town Friday night for a weekend job, so while he was gone his fiancee, Jennifer, came to visit and ended up staying the weekend. Unless Nick is with her, I think she feels more comfortable here than at home. Especially THIS weekend.

Her mother decided to confront her about something Saturday morning. It's something that I've known about from the beginning, but Nick asked me not to say anything until they told Jennifer's mom and dad. Well, now that her mother has figured it out, I guess I can finally say something. It seems that Jennifer is pregnant. She goes to the doctor this week, but it seems that she's probably due in early September. Nick is thrilled, but he is also very stressed about all his legal issues. He and I need to sit down and come up with a realistic plan so that he can be there for Jennifer and this baby. It could be a turning point for him, or it could be a royal disaster. I have a feeling that things could be come very complicated soon . . . But then, that's nothing new around here.

Jake and Heather have been doing their best to get the most out of their days off school. Trips to the mall, overnights with friends, both here and away, Christian and Khris were here most of the weekend. (even though Christian was technically spending the weekend with Khris, next door) Heather went to a concert with her church youth group and a couple of girl friends, so Roy and I have been doing a lot of running and trying to keep track of everyone. One. More. Day. Then, things can go back to being a little more normal - what ever that is . . .
I did manage to find time Saturday afternoon to do some shopping for the ones that I love. I bought everyone a pair of Valentine's satin boxers! Jake, who is very into the who saggy pants look, is especially pleased. Cool boxers are a fashion statement for him. His pair is black with an m&m dude that says "bad boy." He put them on right away and announced that it was "like letting your best friend sleep in a satin hammock." He spent most of the day daring everyone to touch his smooth, silky, boxer clad butt. That kid has issues.

I don't know how, but Roy and I did finally manage to have a little alone time (or mostly alone) on Saturday night. We sat down to watch a movie together and Midnight decided to have a little reverse sneezing fit. You know, when dogs make those horrible snorting-coughing sort of noises, and they act like they can't catch their breath? It looks like they're having some kind of seizure or asthma attack. Well, I did some research on the web and found out that it's called a "reverse sneeze." They are mostly harmless, and if you can get them to drink or swallow, they stop. (at least for a while) Anyway, Midnight tends to have them every now and then. (Princess has them when she's outside on her walk) I could deal with the little fit and all the weird noises now that I know they're not in any physical danger; but what I can't deal with, is Pete's reaction to them. When one of the other dogs has them, Pete freaks out!! MUCH worse than he does during a thunderstorm! (if that's possible) It's kind of hard to deal with Midnight and try to get him to drink while Pete is crawling up on top of me and shaking like a leaf !! I can usually calm Pete, by holding him in my lap and rubbing his ears for a while, but Roy was determined NOT to share his wife, on Valentine's day, with a 70 pound dog with irrational phobias. ( a little issue of male dominance, I think.) Roy got so frustrated that he decided to put them both outside for a while. BIG MISTAKE!! We had just settled back in to watch the movie when we started getting calls from the neighbors that Pete had jumped the fence and was running around the neighborhood like a lunatic!!! I had tried to tell Roy that "the boys" were big enough that they could jump the fence anytime they wanted. But Roy said, "nah, they aren't that smart" Wrong - they just haven't ever wanted to. Pete will do just about any crazy thing when he gets scared. So . . . it's stop the movie, and go chase down a hysterical, freaked out dog !! And when we finally got him home, Pete ended up in my lap anyway. Oh well. Midnight did finally get over his fit ( with the help of a few slices of turkey) and Pete calmed down a lot faster than Roy got over sharing his wife. (hehehe - I hate being right all the time, but a mom knows her babies)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ooops! I did it again . . .

Thursday marks the beginning of a five day break from school for my kids. So when I woke this morning, I knew I needed to get some baking done. With a houseful of teenagers, you'd better have things for them to snack on, or they'll gnaw the furniture. My kids and their friends happen to be partial to my homemade cookies. As I gathered the ingredients together, I discovered that my supply of brown sugar was low. I threw on my jacket, slipped on my shoes and headed to the store. On my way back to the house, I glanced in my rear view mirror and thought I caught a glimpse of flashing red and blue lights almost a block behind me.. As I turned onto my street, I peeked again, and sure enough, I was right. He rounded the corner behind me so I figured that I had better get out of his way so he could get where he was going. As I pulled to the curb, I realised that he was too - SHIT! I put the car in park and watched as the officer open his car door and walked towards my window. I was absolutely clueless as to why he would be pulling me over in front of my house. My first thought was that something had happened to one of my kids. I was actually relieved when he informed me that he had pulled me over because I had been going 44MPH. For a second I just looked at him. In my mind I was thinking, "So . . . Ridgeview is a 45 MPH street" Then I remembered passing the two schools where my children attend. Ooops! Very rarely do I drive passed the schools during school hours. I usually wait until after the kids are home from school to run errands. (I do my best to enjoy the silence that occurs while they're in school.)
He took my driver's license, insurance card, and registration and went back to his cruiser. I sat there patiently waiting, trying to remember the last time that I had a speeding ticket. I can't - it's been ages. My last ticket was for failure to move to the other lane as I passed a policeman while he was writing some one else a ticket. (He actually had a lane and a half on the shoulder of the road where he was parked) They ended up dropping that charge so that they could nail me for expired insurance instead. The insurance violation was also amended - after they got $350.00 in fines from me.
The policeman returned with a computer generated ticket and told me that my court date was set for March 21st, or I could mail the fine to the address on the back of the ticket before my court date. I mumbled an apology, and after he left, I put my car in gear and rolled the additional 10 feet into my drive way. Damn it, so close - I almost made it. I carried my bag of brown sugar into the house and sat down to look at how much my trip to the store had cost me. The last time I'd gotten a ticket, they still wrote them out by hand, filling in the blanks through three layers of cheap carbon paper. When I finally found the fine amount, I nearly went through the roof! $342.00!!! That's $18.00 per mile over the posted limit !! URGH !!! Well, I guess that's Johnson County - the greediest, most money hungry County in the state! It only cost $8.00 more to pay for a No Insurance Violation in Edwardsville, and that didn't even go on my record !!! What bullshit ! I guess somebody has to pay for the lap tops and video cameras in every police cruiser.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Still Hanging in there

Ana and Princess

I survived another (three-day) weekend. It was pretty typical, nothing terribly exciting to report. Roy spent the biggest part of it working, so I didn't see much of him. Jennifer (Nick's girl friend) was over on Saturday to hang out, and Nick showed up after work for dinner. The kids took advantage of the nice weather and were out running around with their friends.

I got a phone call Saturday afternoon from my sister in-law, Lesta. She works at a nursing home and has a gentleman, who just before becoming ill, lost his much loved little dog. He is due to be released in a few days and is looking for a small dog to keep him company. She thought of Princess and asked if we might be able to part with her. She had met Princess before and noted how sweet and friendly she was.

Princess is a cute (presently obese) Miniature Pincher. We took her in about two years ago. She belonged to my daughter, who has a very busy life. (She works outside the home and has two young children and a teen aged son.) As much as they loved Princess, they just didn't have time to care for a high energy little dog. In spite of the fact that all of our dogs are bigger (50 to 75 pounds) Princess' spunky personality has allowed her to hold her own with them - she's fearless.
If the other dogs get too rowdy with her, she puts them in their place. However, she tends to be a bit of an instigator around here. Min-Pins are very alert and if a car door slams down the street, she has every dog in the house in an uproar and at full alert for intruders. (Princess is all about the drama) She takes full advantage of the fact that she has four big dogs at her beck and call who can handle any trouble that she gets herself into. On her own, she is a very affectionate and snugly little girl. She truly just wants to be as close to a person as possible to soak up all the love and attention they have to give. She even demands a spot in bed, under the blankets, curled up next to her current person of choice.
Unfortunately, living in a house with four other (bigger) dogs has had it's draw backs. She has learned to eat like a big dog and is currently twice her normal weight which has slowed her down considerably. (not to mention the potential side effects for her health) She doesn't feel comfortable playing with a bunch of rough housing male lab mixes and playtime always ends up with her either feeling left out, or her getting pissed off and storming away like the royalty that she is. My biggest dog, Midnight, seems to have a crush on her. (In fact, we've found that he adores any thing that is small and furry- including the rabbit and the hamster.) He's just a big gentle lover, but he intimidates Princess, and she won't have anything to do with him. She beats the crap out of him on a daily basis and of course, he allows it with a sad and forlorn look on his face.

I'd really like to see Princess in a home where she can be given all the one on one love and affection that she deserves. I really think that this would bring out her gentler side that we so seldom get to see. Without four giant food bowls, and feeling like she has to compete with the bigger dogs for food, she could return to her normal weight and health. As much a we love her, we want her to be happy, and I think everyone knows that this is not an ideal situation for her. Lesta is going to try to stop by later this week and take Princess to visit with her potential new owner. I'm hoping that he falls in love with her, if not, if things don't work out, she always has a home here.
In the mean time, Instead of a three day weekend, we have a three day school week ahead of us. The kids only have school on Mon, Tues, and Wed. this week. They are off Thurs. and Fri. for parent-teacher conferences (I SO dread chatting with Jake's teachers) and then, they are off for Presidents' Day on Monday. So, they get a FIVE day weekend. Oh Lord, help me. They are going to see this as a mini vacation and have me running all over the place. My house will be filled with teenagers looking for food to eat, and ways to entertain themselves. I need a plan, or a ticket out of town. I think I prefer the latter option, but that's not likely to happen. Oh well, If you pray, say a few for me.

Gotta go, lots of stuff to do, no time to do it.

Love ya,

Saturday, February 7, 2009


OH. MY. GOD ! I have an imaginary (or at least invisible) ice pick being repeatedly jammed into my head every time I move. OUCH ! I think it's my sinuses, they tend to freak out every time we have an extreme temperature change. Like I said, yesterday we went from 20F (-6.6C) to a lovely 70F (21.1C. ) When I took the dogs out for a walk this afternoon, the wind was blowing like crazy, so I guess it could be my allergies acting up. At this point . . . I just want it to STOP! Daaaamn, this sucks! Apparently, it seems to be one of those lovely symptoms that are totally immune to over the counter pain killers. Shit, I wish I lived in Canberra, AU. I'd go over to Mel's place and help her drink that bottle of Vodka and watch porn. (I just made up the part about porn - I'm in too much pain for porn)

Okay, that's all. I just wanted to complain to someone, since every one else is in bed. I think that's where I'm going too. Good night all.

Love ya,


Friday, February 6, 2009

Another long weekend

Still hanging in here, practicing my patience. Why is technology such a pain in the ass sometimes?

I know that it's only Thursday, but around here, it feels more like Friday. The kids are out of school tomorrow for a "teacher instruction day" - whatever that is. So they are all reved up for a long weekend. Yipee ! - NOT. Next week, they only have to go until Wednesday then, they are off Thursday and Friday for parent/teacher conferences. (you know I'm really looking forward to that - maybe I can be sick those days?) AND they are also off on Monday for Presidents' Day. What a crock ! They get a SIX day weekend!!! Something is wrong here. . . *Sigh* it's like this every February. Not only is it the shortest month of the year, but they want to schedule an additional 4 days off school. It's just stupid.

It seems like everyone is conspiring against my sanity lately. Even the weather is doing weird stuff. For the next four or five days, we are supposed to have spring-like temps. ( 70F/21.1C)
I am SOOO confused! Of course, on the other hand, I'm not stupid either - I plan to get out and enjoy it while it lasts.

In fact, I had to go buy new dog leashes today so I could walk my dogs. When Nick was over on Sunday, he decided to take Pete for a walk. When I walk the dogs, Pete and Midnight go together, and Midnight was NOT going to let Nick take Pete without him! He followed them out into the garage, and stubbornly refused to move until he had a collar on his neck with a leash attached. (that's my boy!) Nick finally gave in, but of course, Nick flatly refuses to do anything the "normal" way. When I walk the dogs, I work really hard to get the dogs to heel, obey, and focus on me, and what I want them to do. Pete has become my problem child because every time Nick comes over, he takes Pete for a walk and lets him run amok. So the next time I walk him, he thinks he's special and he can do whatever he wants. URGH! Anyway, when Nick took the dogs for a walk on Sunday, he clipped both leashes together. Don't ask me why, all I can say is that Nick's brain just doesn't function like other people.
As usual, when he got them out to the trail, he drops the leash and lets them run wild. Except they were still hooked together. Now, What do you suppose my dogs did? That's right, they ran at full speed towards the biggest tree at the park. Pete went right, and Midnight went left, and the leash wrapped around the tree, and sent them spinning in opposite directions just like a classic 1940's Toon Town cartoon. Until . . . the clasp holding the two leashes together shattered, and they fell on their furry butts with a yelp and a very confused look. I'm sure that the only thing missing was the little animated birds circling their heads. Hence, my need to buy a set of new leashes.
See, I'm not paranoid - I really AM surrounded by lunatics.

Okay, I have a hypothetical query that I'd like to pose to you all. Let's say that you are cleaning your 14 year old son's bedroom while he's at school. As you are sorting through the piles of dirty socks and months of garbage that is strewn around the room, you find a few t-shirts that are actually clean and folded neatly in a laundry basket. When you open his dresser drawer to put them away, you see two unopened packages of condoms. Do you take them? Do you leave them? Do you tell him that you found them, or do you say nothing? What would you do? (hypothetically, of course.)

Well, it's late and I need to get myself off to bed. Have a great weekend.
Love ya,

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Technical Difficulties

I just wanted to drop a note to everyone to let them know, I may be off line for a while. My monitor is doing weird stuff and it's becoming a total pain in the butt to work with. There won't be funds in the budget to get a new one until next Friday (the 13th) So I'm not ignoring anyone, and I haven't been kidnapped by aliens, I'll be back soon. I'll try to keep up with your blogs as long as the stupid thing doesn't piss me off past my limit. Then, I'm done. I won't sit around yelling at a stupid box, or smacking it, or pushing random buttons trying to find the magic sequence. (unlike other people in my house . . . .)

Love ya,

Monday, February 2, 2009

Anti -Super Bowl Party

I feel like I've been run over by a big truck this weekend. I woke up Saturday morning and Jennifer was just arriving. Roy and Nick had a job to do together Saturday morning, and they arrived home 30 minutes later. Nick and Jennifer spent all day Saturday here and I cooked a big lasagne dinner. They had planned to go to church Sunday morning out here in Olathe, so they just spent the night rather than drive 50 + minutes to Liberty just to drive back 8 hours later.
Sunday afternoon, Jasmin and the grand kids showed up to hang out with us since Jason went to his folk's house to watch the Super bowl with his brothers and his dad.

If it wasn't for Roy glued to the tube on the living room couch, we would have had a big Anti Super Bowl Party. I think next year I will. I'll gather up all the football widows, kids, and all the people I know who just don't give a rip about the super bowl, and have a big party. We'll have tons of food and watch movies, and Roy will just have to go hang out with Jason next year. As it turned out, I ended up cooking another big meal of Chicken enchiladas, salad, and cinnamon rolls for every one and we had a pretty good time anyway. Roy didn't seem to mind us much, and it was nice to have all my kids and grand kids at home. It's been busy around here, and right now I'm feeling exhausted, but it's been a really good weekend.

It's looking like I'll have Heather home with me tomorrow, she's having a hard time shaking her cold, and she just feels rotten - poor baby. Several of Jake's friends were MIA last week because they were struggling with the same thing - I'm guessing that's where she got it. I can't afford to catch it, I have too much stuff to do, and I'll end up making every one's life miserable if I get sick. Soooo, I had better get myself off to bed and make sure that I stay rested. Good night.