Monday, February 22, 2010

I think it's quite possible . . .

That I've actually been dead for a couple of days now. That would explain a lot of things. ( all the lethargy, my lack of appetite, random and confused brain functions; and of course . . . the smell.) Although, if my theory proves correct, I've got some really bad news for those of you who were feeling optimistic about the after life. This sucks!!!

It's been over two weeks now, and I still feel like shit. I called the doctor, and he phoned in a second round of antibiotics for me, but I think he's grasping at straws. With or without the meds, it seems that I have crappy days . . . and then, I have days that are SUPREMELY crappy. Crappy beyond measure! Yesterday was one of those days. I don't think it's a virus, I don't think it's bacterial, I don't think it's environmental, I don't even think it's genetic. I think . . . I must have done something to really piss God off. I just wish I could remember what it was.

I try to be good, But you know . . . I do a lot of stupid things. I just can't seem to help myself. And most of the time, I think to myself, "Wow, that was really stupid . . ." But I just can't recall anything I've done, recently, that merits this kind of divine retribution. I like to think God is a just and fair God, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, he's still pissed about all the stuff I did in the 80's? I know I did a lot of things during that decade that I can't remember. Who knows? Maybe, He just pulled my name out of a hat? See, I told you, random and confused brain functions . . . Hmmmm . . . maybe, I have mad cow disease? No . . . that's just stupid. I can't figure it out. It's beyond me.

So . . . In the midst of all this mental uncertainty about God, I've been trying to get a job. (once again - told ya so - I really do a lot of stupid stuff.) The whole process is really weird, because now, instead of getting a newspaper, taping it to the wall, and throwing a dart at it; I have to sort through all these random lists of jobs on the Internet. It feels a lot like going to a garage sale and rummaging through a bunch of shit that nobody else wants. Every once in a while, you find something interesting; but then, you find out that it's really just another piece of crap, or you have to fight your way through a million other bargain hunters, and hope that you are the first to have exact change. It's crazy. And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure that I even want to go back to work. But if nobody else is going to get a job, and if they think that they're just going to hang around my house, eating my food, and making a mess . . . then I need to get the hell out of here. It's not that motherhood and marriage isn't rewarding . . . But if I have to put up with this crap - I want cash! Then, they'll all have to be reeeealy nice to me if they want something. Mhwahahahaha . . . I'm so evil.

Well, I need to go to bed now and hope that they don't decide to cancel school in the morning. It's been snowy and icy all weekend, and the kids are hoping that they will get another day off. ( Jake has decided that we are having "lasagna weather" - layers of snow, ice, snow, ice . . .) I'd just like to have a nice, quiet, day without a bunch of kids sprawled all over my living room, eating Ramen noodles, and watching "Zombieland" for the 150th time. That doesn't seem like too much to ask for, but we'll see how it works out.

2 howled back:

Cat said...

Best of lukc on the job hunt these days!

I like to think that whoever is in control of my day to day life, must have a great sense of humor.



Anonymous said...

You feeling better yet young lady? Hope so!