Excused Absence

Once again, I've been neglecting my blog.   *SIGH*   What can I say?  I've been distracted by all the usual insanity here at the asylum . . . again.  
Not only have I been busy tearing down and storing our yard haunt, but my youngest, my baby,  turned thirteen last week.  UGH, a teenager!  If things were crazy before, they are about to become completely out of control now.   I know this from experience.  Of course, this is the first time that I will be dealing with TWO teens at the same time.  In the past, due to the number of years between my children, I've always been fortunate enough to get one through the teen years before the next one reached the magic (or is it really a cursed number?) age of 13.  Silly me, my last two kids are only two years apart in age.  Of course, Jake and Heather are so close, they do everything together.  For the most part, that has been a blessing; I'll have to wait and see if I still feel the same way in the coming years.

Anyway, for Heather's thirteenth birthday she wanted to have a slumber party with 7 of her closest girlfriends.  Normally, that wouldn't be a huge problem;  except for the past several months, our little asylum has been running at full occupancy with Nick, Jenn, and the baby living with us.  Of course, I knew it would be total chaos ( as well as a probable violation of several city codes for maxium occupancy of a four bedroom duplex)  with that many teenage girls in the house.  But after all, it's just for one night . . .   The biggest issue was, where to bed down that many people.  Not that I expected them to do much sleeping, at least not until the wee hours of the morning.  It was finally decided that the only possible availible space was -  the garage.  The problem with that?  Heather's birthday is only 11 days after Halloween.  Not only was the garage still set up as a mad doctor's laboratory from Halloween, but on November 1st, everything from the front yard cemetery gets shoved into the garage until I can get it all packed away. (which normally happens over a span of months) So yeah, I've been extremely busy these past few days, tranforming our garage from a laboratory/storage space, to a party room for teens - all in less than a weeks time.
And because my husband has no idea what it takes to preform the sort of magic that I do on a daily basis, he scheduled Pete's neutering for the morning after the Slumber party !  Of course, we had Pheonix neutered the week before Halloween, and that made me a nervous wreck. Not only was I all strung out over the emotional guilt of abandoning my baby overnight at a strange place,  but I have to admit that dealing with a post-surgery animal was a bit more stressful than I had anticipated.  Not only are they unable to tell you if they're in pain, or if something isn't right, but they could care less about things like . . . surgical incision care, and infection.  They're just dogs, they aren't equiped with survival instincts that cover human situations like surgery.  I was actually amazed at how co-operative Pheonix turned out to be - the perfect patient.  In fact, as the days have passed, I am only sorry that we didn't have him neutered earlier.  I'm starting to think that most of his anxiety and bad behavior was testosterone induced.  He's just a happier, more relaxed, and contented dog.  He has actually become more playful and puppy like.

However, in comparison, Pete . . .   To put it as tactfully as possible, Pete is well, uh . . . psychotic as hell.  He has more issues than LIFE magazine.  Not only is he stubborn and willful, but he has separation anxiety, he's a fence climber with a wandering spirit, he's absolutely frantic when it comes to his fear of thunderstorms, and when it comes to licking and chewing . . . OCD doesn't even BEGIN to describe it !  He has done everything in his power to make his recovery time difficult for everyone; and as a result, it's taking longer for him to heal.  He refuses to leave his incision alone and he worries over it day and night.  We've had to put one of those goofy Elizabethian collars on him, keep him separated from the other dogs, and still, we have to watch him constantly. ALL he does is whinge and cry like a baby.  Once again, I've had to redecorate the garage, this time into a makeshift dog kennel.  Actually, it's more like a canine presidential suite!  And does he appreciate all that I've done for him?  Hell NO!  When I named our home haunt Howling Hollow Asylum, I had no idea that it would become so prophetic.  Pete's constant crying and howling is making everyone insane!!!  Every night when I go to bed, I pray that the hormones will work themselves out of his body quickly, and that the lack of testosterone will have the same effect on Pete as it's had on pheonix.  This really is our last hope.  If neutering him doesn't curb his dominance and his desire to fight with Pheonix, I have to find him another home.  It's going to break my heart, but I can't have that kind of violence and tension in my home.

In other news . . . I've decided to start looking for a job.  Roy has been laid off from his job (which really didn't supply him with enough hours or pay anyway)  and with the kids getting older, and the Holidays and the economy  being such a financial stress - well, I think it's just time for me to go back to work.  I've sent out a few resumes with my optical experience and I seem to be getting pretty good responses.  I know that over the past 20 years that I've been at home there have been a lot of changes (new equipment and products, computers, and worst bof all, insurance)  but the basics never really change much.  Besides, all the changes are really kind of unique specific to each office, so I would probably have to learn it anyway.  But I think I would much rather return to optics, than find work in my other area of training - teaching preschool. Not only is the pay and benefits better, but I think I've had enough of dealing with children. (or grown ups that BEHAVE like children)  Still, I'm really nervous and anxious about the whole thing - it just seems weird to imagine not being at home all the time, and I know that there will have to be new rules, and a lot of  restructuring at home  if I'm not here all day. ( my family doesn't exactly embrace change very well)   I know that in the long run, it will be a good thing, I just don't look forward to the short term stress.  So wish me luck, and keep my family in your prayers, please.
I'm still working on getting the Halloween photos uploaded to my other blog.  My stupid computer has been SO slow lately, I can only do a few each evening.  Hopefully, I'll have it done by the end of this weekend - I'll let you know.

Well, it's late and I need to sleep.  I'll try not to be so long between posts next time.
Good night  all.

*p.s. dog photo credits: my very talented daughter, Heather !

Aimless

Hey there,





I woke up to a dark, cold, drizzly day. I just wanted to pull the covers up to my chin and sleep all day. I almost did. You don't even want to know what this weather has done to my dainty auburn tresses. I don't know, maybe it's not the weather, maybe I've just got so much stress that even my hair is fried. Can stress fry your hair ? I'll have to ask Jasmin.

Anyhow, I managed to make it through the day. Roy came home a little early to take the kids and I to see a house in Parkville that he did some work on a couple of weeks ago. It's for rent, and. . . . I guess it's okay. It's got some really nice things that I like. A huge back yard with a two car garage. It also has a dinning area, which is one of the things on my wish list. However, the bedrooms and kitchen are small, and it only has one bathroom. The neighborhood seems good - lots of kids. It could work.

Unfortunately, the guy who showed the house is not the owner. The house belongs to his brother, who is blind. He will have to talk with him and get back to us tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm going to see if I can get a hold of Tina tomorrow, (our land lord's rental person) and see if I can work something out. I really don't like dealing with her, but I REALLY do not want to take Jake out of school and move him, when we only have four months left on our lease. Whatever they have planned for this property, it can wait four months.

Anyway, as we were driving to Parkville this evening, the rain changed over to snow. We now have about an inch of the white stuff, and it's still coming down. The dogs are making me crazy with their in and out routine. Out to play and roll around, back inside to warm up, then back out. . . They are worse than the kids ! At least it gives them something to focus on besides Princess.

Yes, it's that time of the season for her - UGH !!! And no, I haven't gotten the boys fixed yet. It's a good thing that she's such a mean little bitch ! She won't have anything to do with these monster doggie boys. She has been seeking comfort and refuge with Angel this week. Angel is such a nurturing soul, she lets her snuggle beside her and growls at the guys if they get too close. Of course, if Angel is somewhere else, Princess has no problem defending herself. I'm just tired of all the crying from the boys - what boo-babies ! Princess is saving herself for the right dog - her prince. It just scares me to think of what kind of dog would actually tolerate her crap. She is like the canine equivalent of Roseanne Barr with PMS.

Oh my Gosh, I am so tired of all this insanity. Part of me just wants to escape to somewhere quiet and peaceful, but my heart knows that there can be no happiness without all the people who make me crazy - my family. I am such a sick, twisted person.

I just made a batch of pumpkin muffins. They're SO yummy with honey-nut cream cheese on top ! Not exactly healthy, but it could be worse. I could eat the whole batch. I could, but I won't. Even if I did, I'd never admit to it.

Okay, I'm just rambling now. I need to get myself to bed.
Good night.
Love,
Susan

Saturday Night

Hey,

What a day ! I called my mom and she said that she was just too exhausted for visits today. She didn't get much sleep last night, and she wanted to get as much rest in between being woke up every four hours by nurses. I can so relate to that. I never understood why nurses feel it necessary to announce their presence with overhead lights and the clashing of cymbals. So, I will get up to see her tomorrow - whether she likes it or not. For now, I feel better knowing that she's some where safe and she's being looked after. This woman is so impossible. She went back to see the doctor the Thursday after Christmas. He put her on new meds and she started feeling better. So what does she do ? She goes back to work. Throughout this whole episode, I don't think she has taken a full day off work. Even when she started feeling out of breath, she wouldn't go see anyone until Saturday morning. (her day off) She actually drove herself to urgent care this morning, thinking she would get a pill or a breathing treatment and be able to go back to work on Monday. But when they checked her oxygen level and found that it was only 80 - the doctor put her in the hospital. Part of me is just so pissed. For as far back as I can remember, her job has always seemed more important than anything (or anyONE) else in her life. It took me along time to get over being angry about that, and to build a relationship with her. Her job has always been the source for her to gauge her usefulness, and value as a person. It's always been too risky for her to depend on people for those things. I know that it sounds crazy, but I'm starting to feel that childhood jealousy and resentment all over again. But that's okay, I'm a grown up now. I've finally developed a greater understanding and appreciation of all her strange and dysfunctional workings. Doesn't change the fact that I still want to sit her down and shake some sense into her !

So to relieve my frustrations, I spent the day cleaning the shit out of my house, and making sarcastic and pissy remarks to my husband. The temperatures have continued their upward climb this week, the snow has melted away, and our back yard has turned into a mud pit. Which of course, results in muddy paw prints all over my kitchen floor. So really, no one has been safe from my wrath today. Soooo . . . my husband, being much wiser than he appears, gathered up the kids and the dogs, and took them fishing at the lake. By they time that they returned home, I was in a much better state of mind to feed them, as opposed to bite their heads off. I realise that I am a screwed up mess, I'm just thankful that I have people who love me in spite of it. So I should probably come up with some thing sweet to do for them tomorrow to make amends for my behavior.

I just checked my email a little while ago, and the news from Florida isn't as good as we hoped. The doctor is going to keep Roy's mom a little longer because they haven't been able to get a blood pressure reading on her right arm. I have no idea how serious, or unusual that might be. It certainly doesn't sound good to me. However, I do know this - Roy's mom is the complete opposite of my mom. The doctor told her to get up and about today, and try to use her right arm more. and it is just beyond her comprehension to not do exactly what the doctor tells her to do. Roy's sister included a photo of her sitting up in her chair, eating lunch and holding her pudding cup over her head, with a great big grin on her face. I swear, she is just the cutest damn thing! I can't imagine anyone smiling after having their breast removed. If we could bottle this woman's positive attitude, we could solve the world's problems overnight. All of Roy's (4) sisters live in Florida with her, Deb says that they are just rolling on the floor laughing over some of her conversations - after she gets her pain pills. She's a hoot ! All of the women in her family have a reputation for living to be 95-100 years old. With her attitude, she may out live them all.

Well, my body is aching from the abuse I've given it today. I think I'll go soak in a hot tub and put myself to bed.

Love to all,
Susan

Post - holiday Insanity.

Hi


I've been trying to get something posted since Friday afternoon, but every time that I sit down to write, something new happens. Unfortunately, it's not been alot of happy stuff.

First of all, Roy's Mother, in Florida, was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly before Christmas. She had surgery Friday morning to have her right breast removed. In spite of the fact that she is 89 years old, and she has given birth to, and raised 8 children, she is one healthy lady! According to all the reports from Florida, the surgery only took 19 minutes, and she is doing great. He should be going home sometime today, maybe tomorrow.

This morning, I got a call from my brother that MY mother was being taken to the hospital. I had just spoke with her on Tuesday, and she was sounding good. My brother Mark, and his wife, Lesta, took her to lunch that afternoon, and they reported that she seemed to be on the mend as well. I haven't gotten all the details of what, or when things went bad, but she ended up at urgent care this morning and the doctor had her admitted to get her oxygen level back up.
So, I'm rushing around here trying to get my house in order, so that I can get up to see her this afternoon after she gets settled into a room. Jasmin gets off work at 3:30 and I think she wants to go with me.

I've spent the entire past two weeks struggling to accomplish anything at all; there has just been so much chaos and confusion. ( some days, just keeping an eye on Nick, is a full time job) Now, I'm looking at the last weekend before the kids return to school, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done - NOW.

So . . . I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I've just got alot of stuff that I'm trying to juggle all at once. I keep telling myself that I'm just getting all the crappy "karma" out of the way, so that the rest of the year can be smooth sailing and peaceful. At least that's the little mantra that I keep repeating to aid in my denial, and get me through the moment. When I get a moment to breathe, I'll put it all into a more sensible perspective and I'll be able handle it better. Right now, I just have to get through it, and not ask questions.

You all are always in my thoughts and prayers, even when I'm not on line.
Love ya,
Susan