What a day ! I called my mom and she said that she was just too exhausted for visits today. She didn't get much sleep last night, and she wanted to get as much rest in between being woke up every four hours by nurses. I can so relate to that. I never understood why nurses feel it necessary to announce their presence with overhead lights and the clashing of cymbals. So, I will get up to see her tomorrow - whether she likes it or not. For now, I feel better knowing that she's some where safe and she's being looked after. This woman is so impossible. She went back to see the doctor the Thursday after Christmas. He put her on new meds and she started feeling better. So what does she do ? She goes back to work. Throughout this whole episode, I don't think she has taken a full day off work. Even when she started feeling out of breath, she wouldn't go see anyone until Saturday morning. (her day off) She actually drove herself to urgent care this morning, thinking she would get a pill or a breathing treatment and be able to go back to work on Monday. But when they checked her oxygen level and found that it was only 80 - the doctor put her in the hospital. Part of me is just so pissed. For as far back as I can remember, her job has always seemed more important than anything (or anyONE) else in her life. It took me along time to get over being angry about that, and to build a relationship with her. Her job has always been the source for her to gauge her usefulness, and value as a person. It's always been too risky for her to depend on people for those things. I know that it sounds crazy, but I'm starting to feel that childhood jealousy and resentment all over again. But that's okay, I'm a grown up now. I've finally developed a greater understanding and appreciation of all her strange and dysfunctional workings. Doesn't change the fact that I still want to sit her down and shake some sense into her !
So to relieve my frustrations, I spent the day cleaning the shit out of my house, and making sarcastic and pissy remarks to my husband. The temperatures have continued their upward climb this week, the snow has melted away, and our back yard has turned into a mud pit. Which of course, results in muddy paw prints all over my kitchen floor. So really, no one has been safe from my wrath today. Soooo . . . my husband, being much wiser than he appears, gathered up the kids and the dogs, and took them fishing at the lake. By they time that they returned home, I was in a much better state of mind to feed them, as opposed to bite their heads off. I realise that I am a screwed up mess, I'm just thankful that I have people who love me in spite of it. So I should probably come up with some thing sweet to do for them tomorrow to make amends for my behavior.
I just checked my email a little while ago, and the news from Florida isn't as good as we hoped. The doctor is going to keep Roy's mom a little longer because they haven't been able to get a blood pressure reading on her right arm. I have no idea how serious, or unusual that might be. It certainly doesn't sound good to me. However, I do know this - Roy's mom is the complete opposite of my mom. The doctor told her to get up and about today, and try to use her right arm more. and it is just beyond her comprehension to not do exactly what the doctor tells her to do. Roy's sister included a photo of her sitting up in her chair, eating lunch and holding her pudding cup over her head, with a great big grin on her face. I swear, she is just the cutest damn thing! I can't imagine anyone smiling after having their breast removed. If we could bottle this woman's positive attitude, we could solve the world's problems overnight. All of Roy's (4) sisters live in Florida with her, Deb says that they are just rolling on the floor laughing over some of her conversations - after she gets her pain pills. She's a hoot ! All of the women in her family have a reputation for living to be 95-100 years old. With her attitude, she may out live them all.
Well, my body is aching from the abuse I've given it today. I think I'll go soak in a hot tub and put myself to bed.
Love to all,
Saturday, January 5, 2008