Well, surprisingly, I'm still here and connected, although that's apt to change without notice. Since I've got a few minutes, and the system is still up and running, I'll leave an up date.
Okay, Monday, I spent all day re-organizing various rooms of my house. Moving furniture, throwing crap out, cleaning, so on, and so forth. Don't ask me why, I just felt an urgent need to stay busy and remain focused. My household faithfully supplies me with endless options to distract myself with whenever I feel on the verge of panic. It's not really my idea of a "blessing", but I have no problem taking advantage of a situation when I feel my sky is falling. If it can get me through the day, or even the moment, then, I can still cling to the hope that tomorrow may be brighter.
Tuesday, I spent a large part of my day at Jasmin's new house. It looks as if she and her husband will be separating - when it rains, it pours around here - and she needs to get her new place ready to move in to, by the first of June. She is doing a lot of the work of clearing the place out, and getting it ready herself, to save on rent. I hate the fact that my present situation hasn't allowed me to be there for her as much as I would like; but between Roy looking for a new job, Nick's antics, and the kids finishing up the school year, my life is chaos! Anyway, she has a huge yard sale scheduled for this weekend and Roy and I are scheduled to run it, while she works Saturday morning.
Today, I have done nothing but run around with Roy, making arrangements for basic survival of this family. (which becomes just a wee bit complicated when there is currently Zero income, but all the utilities, landlords, and grocers still want $$ in exchange for services !) I think that we are okay, in terms of necessities, for a couple of weeks, but if Roy doesn't find work soon, we are going to be really screwed. Roy and I have been married for 18 years, and we have been through a lot of difficult times together; But right now . . . It seems like so MANY other people are struggling as well. In a way, it makes me grateful to just be hanging in there, with (comparatively) minimal inconveniences. Being without Internet for a while seems so mild in comparison to people who are losing their homes to foreclosure. Still, it's just frightening, not knowing how long our "blessings" can hold out, or if we will end up like so many others.
Maybe, I'm feeling pessimistic because of our personal situation, but, I have an ominous foreboding that even a new president (ANY new president) can't turn things around as quickly as is necessary. I suspect, that this is just the beginning of a downward spiral for a lot of Americans. Politics is NOT my thing, and I'm the LAST person who would be qualified to make political predictions, but that's just my general sense of things - for what it's worth.
Against my better judgement, Nick is still at home. He's been cranky from alcohol with drawls, but he's stayed sober. He goes to court on his Kansas DUI tomorrow evening. It's possible that the judge will make my choice for me, by revoking his diversion. However, if he gives him a second chance, Nick will have to prove to ME (by his actions and choices) that he is deserving of second chance, at home. So . . . we will see if he is given mercy by the courts, and what he chooses to do with it. This afternoon, he brought up the subject of me helping him to find some personal, outside counseling. I think he needs it, but I won't waste my time and effort, if he isn't serious. I have too many other things to deal with, without his games. All I can do right now - really, all that I could EVER do was, and is . . . pray.
Tomorrow is Jake's last day of school for the year. With everything that has been going on, Heather has gotten a tad behind on her studies. I am hoping to bring her to a stopping point this week, and do a "summer-school -mini -session" during vacation to wrap things up before fall. I need a break for a while, myself. It will probably only be a matter of weeks before she starts to get bored with the lack of structure, and hot temperatures of Summer.
This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend. Other than Jasmin's yard sale on Saturday, I'm going to try to get out to my dad, and my grand parents grave sites some time. My younger brother is coming into town, and my mom mentioned a family pic-nic, but she's been a little vague about the details, so I'm not sure if it's still on. I'm sure I'll survive either way.
I should get myself off to bed now. Hopefully, I'll be back in touch soon.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Posted by Auburn~haired~artist at Wednesday, May 21, 2008