Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Dreams

Well, it's a much quieter kind of evening tonight. Instead of two goofy teenage boys entertaining me, tonight, I have three lovely little girls, curled up on the couch, watching dreamy Ben Afleck kick some King Pin booty in Daredevil.

In fact, my whole day has been very different. The sweltering heat and humidity of yesterday finally exploded in a cloud burst late last night, and today has been a cool and sunny "after the storm" kind of day. I love days like that. I was finally able to get caught up on some much needed sleep, and spent my afternoon walking the dogs and enjoying the fact that I was able to get most of my house work done yesterday. Then, I cooked a huge dinner for my family. BBQ Ribs, twice baked potatoes, corn, green beans with onions and mushrooms, salad, and rolls. It's funny, some days, cooking is such a chore; and other days, it's an absolute joy. Today, it was the latter.

Roy and Nick have spent the last three days being very industrious. They have been to Jasmin's new house several times helping to clear out junk, paint, and do repairs, so that she's ready to move in next weekend. I think that they finished up most of the work, so she can get new carpet laid later this week. She's got a new stove and she gave me her old one - which is electric ! Roy brought it home last night. My current stove is gas, and I just can't use it during the summer months, because it heats up my kitchen so badly, that the smoke detectors go off while I'm pre-heating it !! Nick moved it into the garage this evening and cleaned it up for me. Hopefully, Roy can get them switched out tomorrow. It would be so nice to do some baking.

I think the best part of my day was after dinner. I was able to go downstairs and do some drawing. It's just been one of those days where I'm feeling very content, in the midst of a stressful situation. Either God is teaching me the meaning of "Grace", or I've been in this boat one too many times, and I've finally gone round the bend completely.

I've been having a lot of dreams lately about going back to work. It's kind of reaching the point where I think I need to - for a lot of reasons really. The thing is, I'm not sure what I want to do. I have almost 13 years experience as an Optician/ Optical lab tech/store manager. That's what I did before Roy and I got married. Since then, I have become a certified pre-school teacher and spent almost 6 years doing that on a part time basis. The problem is, neither one of those things really appeal to me anymore. I think that I'd really like to do some thing with my art work, but I'm not exactly sure what, or how to go about it. Unfortunately, I've not had any inspirational dreams about that. I keep dreaming that I go back to either optical, or teaching. But in my dreams, and when I wake up, I don't have a good feeling about it at all. Of course, dreams are just dreams; and making money isn't usually about having fun - if it was, we'd all be millionaires.

Roy is still doing a lot of side work, here and there, for former employers and customers. He still hasn't found "the " new job that will allow us to be able to budget and plan ahead; it would really help if he did. I'd have a better idea what I need to be doing, hours I can work, and pay that I need to make, etc. Bottom line, Roy has the skills and potential to make the bulk of the money for this family, so I have to try to work around him and his schedule, and try to pick up the slack. (except, I just don't know what any of those requirements are yet) It's very frustrating. So, I guess I'll just keep trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing. Of course, I've spent the last 45 years trying to figure that out, it'd be nice if someone would give me a clue !

Anyway, I'm going to run these girls off to bed and get some sleep myself.
Good night.

Love,
Susan

7 howled back:

sparsely kate said...

You are right...not many people in this world get to do something they love for 'work' and make a mint out of it!
I'd love to be a writer but I know that I need to get out in the world and make money the 'proper' way....sigh!
You will know what's the right thing to do.. there are lots of advantages to staying home with the kids though isn't there? But we all need money to live.

I'm really glad to know you got some drawing in, you've got a huge talent in that area...why don't you teach art class after school or something? put an ad in the local paper!? (Isn't it fabulous how I can solve every one else's life?!)

;)
take care, love mel xx

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I have found that, when trying to decide what direction I need to go, that the less I push myself the sooner a clear vision of what to do comes. Well, that has worked for me.

Have an enjoyable weekend, Susan.

sparsely kate said...

missing ya!

Catherine said...

I have to agree with Sometimes Saintly Nick - sometimes if I just sit and wait, the answer ot the way becomes easy to see.

sparsely kate said...

still missing ya!!

sparsely kate said...

STILL missing you. SO much. xx

christopherc said...

Ok, while I was MIA; you went about being so as well it appears. Where are you? Come out and play with us... we miss you.

Hope all is well in Kansas...
-C