How would you like to wake up to this? Not on TV, but in your bed, right in your face. That's what happened to me this morning; or at least that's what my blurry sleep deprived eyes thought they were seeing. Turns out that it was only Princess, who had some how managed to get her head stuck in an over sized peanut butter jar. I kid you not, she was truly stuck!
I felt around the collar of the jar, and I was able to just barely slip my pinky inside the rim, but only up to the first joint. So I reached into my desk drawer next to my bed, and pulled out my sewing scissors. Now these are no dainty silver snips used for clipping loose threads on needle work. These are massive, eight inch long shears, the sort of tool that would be useful to have if anything more frightening than a miniature pincher, with a jar of Skippy stuck on her head, were to wake me. Unfortunately, the hard plastic that they make those jars out of, is virtually bulletproof.
I sat up and looked to see if Princess was as concerned as I was about her predicament. From what I could tell, she was frantically trying to reach the last smudges of peanut butter on the very bottom of the jar with her tongue. Still, I had to wonder how long she would be able to breathe with that thing on her head. I was tempted to check my watch and start timing her - just to see how long it took her to either pass out, or explode from eating, God knows how much, peanut butter. (whichever came first)
In my mind, I was already sorting through the possible stories I could give the kids for Princess's tragic demise. The problem is, I watch way too much forensic TV, and I know how hard it is to fully cover your ass in these kinds of situations. A lucky break like this just looks too suspicious - no one would ever believe me, and I wasn't entirely sure I could keep a straight face.
I threw back the comforter and started muttering curses at Princess under my breath. The other four dogs sat up from their slumber and started gathering around her. I'm not sure what upset them the most; the fact that she had a big plastic bubble on her head, or the fact that they couldn't get their fair share of peanut butter . Naturally, Pete started whimpering and pawing at her which got the other dogs agitated. I picked her up and set her in my lap. I stared pulling on the skin behind her ears, and pulling the jar forward with the other hand. After a few minutes of pulling and alternating tugging at her ears, I was finally able to free her from her sticky peanut butter prison. I'm not sure that she really appreciated my efforts because, as soon as she was free, the other dogs surrounded her and almost drowned her with their slobbery tongues as they removed the excess peanut butter from her face.
In spite of all my evil thoughts about Princess, I breathed a sigh of relief, set the empty jar on my desk, and pulled the blankets back up over my head. In less than a minute, she was back to her wicked self and was screaming and snapping at the boys. I was nearly bounced out of bed as 16 paws made a hasty retreat off the bed, and out the bedroom door.
I figured that I might as well get up and start my day. To be honest, it hasn't improved much. It's been a long day fraught with frustrations. I did manage to get the dogs out for their walks, and that seems to have relieved a lot of tension in house. I suspect that by tomorrow morning, Princess will be over her "problem," and the boys will return to their sweet, non-obsessed selves. I got home our walk to find that our water had to be temporarily shut off until 7PM. So, all my plans had to be put on hold until tomorrow. So . . . I've got a busy day ahead and I need to get some sleep.