Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Telephobia

I am so glad this day is over. It's been a long one. If I have many more days like this, I am going to end up with a new kind of phobia - telephobia. It seems like every time I answer the phone, there is a crazy person on the other end. The problem is, I'm related to most of them, therefore, there may be no escape - they all know where I live.

Actually, it started yesterday. Jake called me - for some reason - at this point, I can't remember why; as we were talking, I mentioned that I had ordered a pizza, and that he and Christian should be home in about 15 minutes for dinner. That's when he informed me that He and Christian were calling from Bonner Springs - about 25 miles away ! Normally, Jake is pretty good about letting me know where he is going, but when he and Christian get together, those things go by the wayside. Apparently, they had called my oldest daughter, Jasmin (Christian's mom) and asked her to pick them up so they could spend the night at her house. Spending the night at Jasmin's isn't a problem, except I expect them to at least ASK before they hop in a car and travel three cities away ! The last time they had checked in ( an hour and a half earlier) they were at the skate park.

Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of my frustration. Later that evening, my oldest son, Nick, called. He just moved out a month ago, and he really has no idea how to cook, so I get a lot of calls from him around dinner time. He wanted to know how long to microwave a certain pre-packed microwave dinner. When I pointed out that it might be a good idea to READ the instructions on the box, I started to realise just how drunk he was. I've been dealing with alcoholics and drug addicts for the past 19 years - I'm pretty quick about picking up on those kinds of things, you know? Needless to say, knowing that Nick was drinking again, didn't do much to improve my mood. But all that changed when he mentioned that he was having a hard time breathing. Nick has had asthma since he was 6 months old, so I told him to go find his inhaler. That's when he casually tells me that he wasn't having asthma problems, but that a couple of hours ago, he fell off his second floor balcony and landed chest first onto a fence!

Suddenly frustration and impatience, is replaced by maternal terror and panic. I couldn't even imagine what kind of injuries would result from a fall like that! Well, actually, I could, and none of them were good. I told him that he needed to see a doctor, and he just scoffed, and basically hung up on me. I tried to call him back, but he wouldn't answer. Finally, I sent a text and he returned my call. When I tried to get details about his injuries and how he had managed to fall, he denied the whole incident and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about, and hung up on me again. I was getting ready to just drive over there and see for myself, but Roy finally convinced me that Nick was just being stupid,and that he was probably fine. I wasn't so sure, but the idea of dealing with Nick when he was drinking, much less trying to wrangle him into an emergency room, didn't seem very likely. As a result, I spent most of last night worrying, and hoping that Roy was right.

The phone rang again around midnight. Nick was calling to let me know that he was fine, and that he was going to bed so he could go to work in the morning. I felt a little better and went to bed myself.

Sometime around 6:30 AM, Nick must have sobered up enough to feel pain. He called me and asked me to have his dad pick him up from work, and take him to the emergency room. They shot him full of morphine, and took 15 different X-rays. He has one of the biggest, ugliest bruises that I have ever seen on the inside of his thigh, scrapes, cuts, and bruises all over his chest, in fact, he almost tore off his right nipple, and a few scrapes on the side of his face. Other than that, they concluded that nothing is broken. And oh yeah, he feels like he's been hit by a truck. They gave him a script for pain killers and he called me to pick him up.

Instead of going home, he actually wanted to hang out at our house. Since he was moving like a 90 year old man, I thought that was a good idea. It only took me an hour to regret that decision. The prescription CLEARLY stated that he should take one half, to one pain pill, every four hours. Nick has never been good at following directions. Instead, he decided that he really needed two pills, every three hours. So, I have spent my day dealing with a lunatic who has alternated between bouncing around my house, eating everything insight, and talking my ear off; and a semi comatose lump moaning on my couch.

Just to make things interesting, Jake came home, and Heather has had several of her friends over all day. I'm exhausted! Nick had his girlfriend pick him up and take him home around 10:30 PM. (Nick has a girl friend now, but that's another (very interesting) story, for another night.) I'm going to bed and pray that the phone doesn't ring anymore. Good night.

Love,
Susan

2 howled back:

sparsely kate said...

I know this wasn't meant to be a funny story but I did find it all really amusing!! Oh I'm sorry Nick is playing up and Jake took himself to a different county but it's just so good to have you all back and find out what goes on in your (crazy!) household.

Make sure you get a better day and a better night's sleep ok?

thinking of you,

mel x

Auburn haired artist said...

Actually, once I found out that Nick wasn't seriously hurt, I gave him quite a bit of shit about the whole thing. Aparently, he dropped his lighter off the balcony. Being young, agile, and chronically impulsive, he decided to climb down to retrieve it, rather than taking the stairs. He just forgot to factor in that he had beeen drinking. What a dope ! He's been doing crazy stuff like that all his life.

As for Jake, I think he does stuff like that on purpose sometimes - just to make me feel silly.

Yup, just another day - for me.