Wednesday, August 6, 2008


JDLR. That's copspeak for "Just Doesn't Look Right." It's a phrase that I heard a policeman use a couple of weeks ago on one of those reality cops shows. Strangely enough, It's an accronymn that I find popping into my mind more, and more often, as my youngest litter of children approach and enter their teen years. There are days when everything in my life seems JDLR. And I think we all know, if it's JDLR, then it probably isn't right, and somebody should probably go check it out. Too bad that "somebody" is usually me.

This afternoon, as I was making my bed, I happened to glance across the hallway and spied Jacob and Patrick ransacking Heather's bed room. JDLR. No one goes into Heather's room during the day - not even Heather. I really didn't want to, but I asked them what they were up to. Their response: "Uh . . . looking for some string."
"Why do you need string?" I asked.
"For uh . . . for . . .something." followed by suppressed giggling.
When I hear answers like that, I have to stop and access the possibilities. How much trouble could they get into with string? Do I really want to know? I thought that I was pretty safe, but I decided to wait and see where they were headed. A few moments later, they left Heather's room, empty handed, and went down stairs. I thought I could relax. I finished making the bed, scraped Roy's dirty sox off the floor, and tossed them in the hamper. As I came down the stairs I heard hysterical laughter coming from the kitchen. I hurried down the steps and turned the corner. Since they couldn't find any string, they had snatched the scotch tape dispenser off my computer desk. One end of a 5 foot length of tape was wrapped around the neck of a headless, slightly mutilated, naked, Bratz doll. The other end was secured to one of the blades of the ceiling fan over the kitchen table, wobbling and turning at high speed. The footless legs were bashing against the curtain valance as it whizzed past. The two of them were looking up, rotating there heads on their necks the way a a couple of cats would watch a bird. Except, they were laughing like maniacs. I cleared my throat to get their attention, they turned to look at me, and at that moment, the tape broke free of the fan blade and the centripetal force sent the Bratz doll flying through the air, missing their heads by inches, slamming it into the cupboards. Which of course, sent them into another round of hysterics. For the rest of the day, they made a game out of sneaking various objects into the kitchen and trying to attach them to the ceiling fan. At one point, I came home from the corner store to find four bowls of dry cereal balanced on top each fan blade spinning at slow speed. The boys were outside skateboarding.

As I sit here now, the two of them are in the kitchen having a sword fight with a Chuck it ball throwing stick, and an empty iced tea pitcher. The dogs are scurrying in between them, barking at them as if to say, JDLR ! Mom! JDLR !

I think I am going to take a Tylenol and go to bed.


2 howled back:

Rooster Boy said...

Gotta love ceiling fans and boys. That is hilarious. Reminds me of my earlier days.

I have some 800 mg motrin!


Anonymous said...

hahahahah, oh I had a good laugh at this.

thanks jacob!!