Thursday, December 13, 2007

* Same shit, different day.

Hi,

Wow, I can't believe that it's Thursday, soon to be Friday ! Yesterday seems like a big blur. I woke up feeling like I was comming down with the flu, in fact, I felt it coming on Tuesday night. But I woke up this morning, and maybe, knock on wood, I've managed to shake it off. I don't know, it could have been just cabin fever. Today, the sun came out, and the temperatures rose to well above freezing, and all the crystal ice came clinking to the ground like wind chimes.

Heather and I are still trying to catch up on her school work, but like every other kid in the world, she's beyond distraction. The only thing she's interested in focusing on is Christmas. I got tired of fighting it, so at lunch time, we loaded up and went to buy supplies for Saturday night, when we build our ginger bread houses. We also stopped by the crafts store and got stuff to make and decorate Christmas stockings - our next project.

What I really need to be doing is tracking down a rock. My sister in law asked me to paint a portrait of my brother's treasured Labrador Retriever onto a rock to give to him for Christmas. After 14 years together, he passed away just a few months ago. ( the dog - not my brother) I'm honored to do the painting, I'm just concerned that it's too soon - he might not be ready for something like that. But, it's not for me to say, I'm just doing it for my sister in law to give to him , she would know better than I, how he will handle it.

All I know is that I lost my Golden Retriever, Honey Bear, three and a half years ago; and to honor her memory, I wanted to do a colored pencil drawing of her. It took me two years before I could even start to do the lay out work, another 3 months to start the drawing, and today, it sits in my drawing table drawer - only 1/6th started, because it's just so hard for me to work on it. (that's where it's been for over a year now) Which is sort of a problem. I would really like to do some drawing, but I'm the kind of person that has a hard time starting a new project until I finish the last one. Which means, I haven't done any serious drawing for almost a year. So I really need to decide what to do about the situation. I've had some good ideas that I'd like to try, but if I start a new project, it's......I don't know, It doesn't seem right. Obviously, I get all tangled up over some pretty silly things - Sorry. Anyway, I can't do anything until after the New Year. There is just too much going on right now.

Today was my day to clean the bathrooms. (whoo-hooo, there's some exciting news, huh?) Anyway, as I was scrubbing away, it occurred to me what a freaking repetitive job being a mom is. I cleaning the same things, week, after week, saying the same things to the kids, over, and over, folding the same clothes, again and again....UGH!! I realise that consistency and repetition is an important part of learning, but you would think, that at some point, they would FIGURE IT OUT !! Maybe I need some variety - some excitement. I'm starting to feel so.........so jaded. Pfffft...Who am I kidding?


Oh, I got a call from Nick the other day. He managed to sneak off to a pay phone while he was at the dentist's office. He wanted to let me know that he is on a 14 day phone restriction, instead of the usual 7 days. So I probably won't hear from him again until right before Christmas. Also, he's on level one restriction so I won't get to see him until the first of February. I know that calling me, to tell me that he can't call me, is against the rules, but I'm glad that he did. I would have spent the entire week before Christmas being worried about him, and wonder why he hadn't called.

Alright, this post is so dull, it's boring the crap out of ME ! Besides, I have tons of boring, repetitive things to do. Never a shortage of that.

Have a great Friday, and a great weekend.

Love ya,
Susan

2 howled back:

Betty said...

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I feel the same way. I have moments of, "gee it would be nice to not have to feed these kids once in a while." or "gosh it must be wonderful to not have to repeat the same sentence 8 times and the only reason you don't need to say the 9th is because you're holding a wooden spoon and waving it around."

I don't know - it's very repetitive stuff. Sometimes I feel that if I hear my own voice one more time...I"M going to give MYSELF the wooden spoon.

Hope you get out and have some fun somewhere, someplace, with someone SOON.

love mel

christopherc said...

OK first of all, bathroom duty. We've given up on it lately; in fact we're running a control experiment in our bathroom to see when the crud gets thick enough if the fixtures will not shed the crud layer and self-clean. So far, it's been a dismal let down and I'm about to crack down and spray the entire room down with HCl under pressure! If that works out the Kitchen may fall victim to similar tactics.

Secondly, I'm still getting over this shitty cold-like-stuff. It started out all nice and pleasant like sinus problems; converted to a head cold; and now is a nasty chest cold. Damned infections create my livelyhood, but I hate it when they turn on me like this.

As for the focus of the young ones, at least they can focus sometimes and have a plausible reason for losing focus...lately I have trouble focusing enough to tie my shoes.

I was glad to hear an update from Nick... I was thinking about him the other day wondering how things were going. I indeed hope he's doing well and his life is focusing on positive things. That would be so good for him, your family, and you as well; todays Christmas wish!

Love you,
-C