Sunday, December 2, 2007

* Worries, Stress, and Denial - Oh my !


Okay, I'm done. I've had enough of this week. Hopefully, Sunday, which technically started an hour and a half ago, will bring a new week with better news.

I was woke up this morning by my dogs barking at someone knocking at my front door. I threw on my robe and found Lesta, my sister in law. She stopped by on her way to work because she had been unable to reach me by phone earlier this week. She wanted to let me know that my mom has been sick, and off work, (my mom rarely misses work) since Tuesday. Of course with no phone or internet, not to mention my own dramas, I've been completely out of touch with the world. My mom had called the doctor earlier in the week and had gotten some antibiotics for flu like symptoms. My mom hates doctors and will do anything to avoid going to see one. However, She didn't get any better, and Friday, my brother, Mark, took her to actually see a doctor. Apparently, she has pneumonia - again. My mom was diagnosed with emphysema about three years ago, and has gotten pneumonia every winter since then. They wanted to put her in the hospital, but the only thing that my mom hates worse than doctors, are hospitals. She finally convinced them to give her some more, different, meds and promised to come back on Monday. Even when she's sick, my mom is the most stubborn, bull - headed, woman on the face of the planet - so, she almost always gets her way. I pity the fool who tries to argue with her.

So, not only was I worried about my mom, but now, I feel like the world's worst daughter. I should have called to check on her with my cell phone, but I kept thinking that I would get to the cable company "tomorrow" - which turned into three days. And I know that this sounds horrible, but for a moment, I felt resentful that Mark and Lesta are always the ones to inform me of what is going on with my mom. They are always the ones calling her, taking her out to dinner, and doing things for her. More than once, the phrase "suck ups" has crossed my mind. I know, I know, I'm evil. The reality is, Mark and Lesta didn't get married until they were both in their early forties, they have no children, and Lesta works at a nursing home so her mind is always thinking along the lines of what my mom might need. I am still trying to cope with the idea that my mom is really 67 years old. For some reason, my mind refuses to see my mom as anything other than strong and capeable. I am always referring to my mom as the "Queen of Denial," apparently, some of that has rubbed off on me. (which is another unpleasant thought.)

Anyway, I did call my mom. She claims that she's feeling better - which she would say whether it was true or not. So I really need to get out to see her tomorrow. My mom and I have had alot of issues over the years, but I think in alot of ways, I know her better than my brothers do - or at least I know a side of her that they can't understand. I need to leave Roy and the kids at home, and go visit. Which means, I need to get my ass off to bed.

Good night all,

2 howled back:

Christopher said...

I hope your Mom is feeling better and on the mend... she sounds a lot like another lady I know of in more than a few ways. I hope never to have to debate her, nor her daughter over treatment -- EVER!

[insert my evil brand of laughter here as you seethe]

My prayers and best wishes for your Mom's speedy recovery from Pneumonia go out to you this morning.

-C (

Betty said...

Mums and daughter's are complex and difficult and yet so completely bonded in love and wanting more love from each other. I've never met a mum-daughter relationship that was not complex or hard to explain.

You are NOT a bad daughter, oh my gosh...I rarely remember to even ask my own mum if she had a good weekend, or if she might need anything from ME for a change, or just generally how her life is going.

And you know, I'd be feeling resentment too if my brother and his wife learnt more about my parents than me. I'd feel annoyed and irked as well. But you are right - they DO have more time than have a busy family, they don't. So it's only natural that they can be more availible like that. But still, I know how you would feel.

I hope your Mum gets better soon with the stronger drugs. I can't even fathom anything going wrong with my parents either.
I hope she is ok and you get your sleep and tomorrow go someplace nice ok??

take care of you too.

love mel xx