Tuesday, December 25, 2007

* Christmas Day 2007

Hey there,


Well, Christmas will soon be over and a new year is on it's way. This has been a Christmas of revelations, but all in all, it's been good.

The kids seemed pleased with their gifts, and have been absorbed with them all day long. Both Jake and Heather invited the kids next door over to check out their new stuff, and that has turned into another over night stay. The four of them are downstairs playing games now. They've already started mapping out the rest of their Christmas break with trips to the mall, and movies that they absolutely must see. (Grand ma's Christmas money is burning a hole in their pockets.) By the end of the week, they'll know how I feel - Broke !

We took a break in the afternoon and headed over to my mom's house for the usual family gathering and Christmas dinner. That's where I got my second revelation for the holiday. As my kids are growing up and becoming more independent, my mother is growing old and I think, becoming more dependent. As I mentioned earlier this month, my mom came down with her usual winter bout of pneumonia, which is complicated by emphysema. She managed to squirm out of a hospital stay in exchange for several strong prescriptions. For the past few weeks, she has convinced me, and I think everyone else, that she is better - which has turned out to be a BIG FAT CROCK OF SHIT ! When I got to my mom's house, I was shocked to find that cooking a meal had drained her completely. She wasn't any better at all. She was moving around her own kitchen like a fragile old woman, struggling to breathe. It's just becoming obvious that I need to make time to check in on her alot more often. (since she can't be trusted to tell the truth about what's going on.) For the past year, I've been struggling to come to terms with the idea that my mom just might NOT be as indestructible as she claims. You'd probably have to know my mom, to know how difficult that is. And what I discovered today, was that in certain areas, like her home and her kitchen, she is a little more receptive to accepting my help, than my brothers. Which means that I need to be there more often. So I think that 2008 is going to require more changes than I thought.

Last night, Christmas eve, I was feeling a little down about spending another Christmas with out my oldest son. My imagination was running wild worrying about how he might feel, spending his Christmas at a Salvation Army Drug Rehab. To make things worse, I hadn't heard from him as I expected. So I finally decided to give myself a Christmas present. I picked up the phone and called Australia, to wish my friend, Mel, a Merry Christmas ! It was so wonderful to finally chat with her for a while. She's probably still giggling about my ridiculous Kansas accent. That's Okay, it cheered me up. I've never called Australia before, but it was easier than I thought. We'll have to do it more often !

About 30 minutes after I hung up with Mel, Nick finally called. He's doing okay. He ended up with a dry socket from the tooth he had removed, (ouch!) but he's feeling better now. The folks at the Salvation Army know how difficult Christmas can be for these guys, and turns out, they do a pretty good job with stuff like that. (DUH !) So, he is hanging in there pretty well. His hardest issue is the fact that he has to start the whole program over. He's been in so many rehabs and treatment programs, that it's hard. He really does work the programs, and he tries so hard, he's just starting to wonder when the little light bulb is going to come on, and he figures out what he's missing. But I have faith - he's smart enough, and he wants it bad enough - it'll happen when it's time.

Even though he isn't eligible for a pass until the end of next month, he told me that I can come up for Sunday morning, and Wednesday night services to see him. It isn't really the same as a visit, but I can spend some time with him. Besides, I'm really missing my time with God since we stopped going to church. I need to get re-focused. So, I'm going to try to get out there tomorrow evening.

Anyway, I need to get some sleep tonight. The rest of this week is filling up quickly.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night !

Love,
Susan

2 howled back:

christopherc said...

I'm so glad you had a grand Christmas, that is as it should be!

It is very traumatic for us to watch our parents as they revert from the parent/mentor back to the dependent. I would encourage you to be of good cheer with her though as it sounds she trusts and revels in your love and compassion.

I hope that Nick has his lights turned on during this holiday season and through the upcoming year to give you added comfort and joy as well.

Now, you did say one thing that really pissed me off, you called Mel. We should have done a conference call; and I assure you your Kansas accent is no more humorous then the Aussie Accent! [Oh, just to be certain everyone knows, I'm kidding about being pissed and I am picking on Mel re: her accent, it's cute]

Auburn haired artist said...

Hey, I was going to call you and wish you a merry Christmas too, but I thought that you were going to visit your folks? I hope you had a wonderful Christmas !!!
Love ya,
Susan