Saturday, January 26, 2008

Another new day

If insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, then yes, I am living in an asylum. And I want out.

Last night was truly awful. Both my men came home in a pretty worthless state. It's come down to choices having to be made, enough is enough. I gave my husband two options. He says that he wants to make changes, and do what's right. Only time will tell if he is serious. I hope so, because I sure as hell am.

I think that with Nick, it's a different situation. I don't think he still possesses the ability, nor the desire, to make a good choice on his own. (at least not as far as this subject is concerned) At 22 years old, he's no longer a child, and maybe I don't have the right to make choices for him, but I have to protect my family, and having him here is not good for anyone, including him. I have to do what's right - even if he hates me for it. That sucks so bad.

So, after last night, and being up until 4:30 AM, I slept until 11:00 AM. Except for being woke up at 9:30 by Nick. He called to tell me that he was at Sherry's house, you know, so I wouldn't worry ?! If he didn't want me to worry, he should have called at midnight ! Calling me at 9:30 in the morning, after I've been up all night, is just going to piss me off. Of course, I'm sure that thought never entered his mind. Okay, enough of this crap.

Anyway, after a week of sub freezing temperatures, we finally got a nice day. When I got up I noticed that the dogs were eating! As opposed to crying and following Princess around the house. YAY !! They finally gave it up, thank God ! So this afternoon, while Roy was at work, I took them all out for a nice long walk. When we got home, we all curled up in bed for a 45 minute siesta. I needed a day without frantic, out of control behavior - from some body. The sunshine and warm weather was an added bonus. Now that Princess is done toying with them, my boys are back to cuddling and loving me again. For the past five days, I've been nothing more than the human who spoils all their fun. After dinner they all piled on top of me on the couch, and insisted that they make up for lost time.

I spent several hours yesterday cleaning and re-organising my basement art room. It's been a disaster ever since Christmas. So now that everything is nice and tidy, I'm thinking of starting a drawing project. It's been almost two years since I've completed a drawing, and something is telling me that now is a good time to get started. The idea of spending a few hours a day, doing something focused and creative, sounds like a vacation to me. The question is - can I pull it off ? Can I actually escape without being interrupted every 15 minutes? Tomorrow is Sunday, so I'm going to give it a shot and try to get a few composition sketches done.

Okay, I'm going to take a nice hot shower and go to bed.
Love ya,
Susan

3 howled back:

christopherc said...

I'm glad things have normalized with Princess and all---I would be looking a vet to spay the bitch before I had to deal with that again! But that's just me, I'm evil like that.

As for family, love is a son-of-a-bitch. I indeed wish I could give you a magic pill to make things better, but I don't think such available, or do I would have already tried it around my own asylum. What I have and shall continue to do is pray without ceasing sending you good tidings for blessings of solution. The simple fact that you're at a precipice upon which the future shall be cast tells me that God has you by the wings to keep you delicately balanced through this trial and will point you in the right direction prior to allowing you to take flight into the future.

Should you ever need to talk, let me know... I'm here as a shoulder to cry on or a sounding board to bounce off of. Until next time, peace.

Shalom,
-C

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Auburn haired artist said...

Actually, I'm thinking of having the boys fixed instead. I'm afraid that Princess is so severely overweight, she may not do well with a major surgery. I feel bad about having the guys snipped, but I think there is just WAY too much testoserone around this house! Besides, I don't want any men fighting for dominance around here.

Betty said...

I'm glad you are posting again here babes!