Don't worry, I am not going to write a horrible depressing post. You all have been so wonderful with your words of encouragement, and I am very lucky to have friends like you. Thank you for being there for me!
Maybe this sounds horrible, but I woke this morning with a sense of peace, almost a feeling of relief. I know that Nick is probably feeling angry, depressed, frustrated, and who knows what else; but In my heart, I know that he is safe, and that he will get through this. Hopefully, it will make an impression on him, and he will change his thinking and his life. I know that addiction is a huge obstacle to overcome. But I know that it CAN be done. And if it can be done - Nick can do it.
I know that Nick tried to call today, but the phones in his pod were not working right, and all I got was a bunch of beeps and tones. I'm not at all upset about that. Chances are, he just wanted someone to bitch and scream at. He has visitation tomorrow at 9:15 PM, and I will see him then. If he wants to scream and yell, I'll leave and wait until Saturday to visit, - maybe he'll calm down by then. I am done dealing with irate, out of control addicts.
Since Heather shared her virus with Jake last week, it's only fair that Jake shared his with Heather. Jake came home Thursday running a fever and has been struggling with a sore throat, cough and congestion all weekend. Heather started running a fever this morning and she has been a mess. I've probably mentioned this before, but both my daughters have a zero tolerance for pain and discomfort. They tend to take everything personally. All day long, Heather has been moaning, "what's WRONG with me ?! Why am I always the one who gets sick ?!" I have very little tolerance for whingers, so after spending most of the day rolling my eyes at her, I finally said, "Well, I am sure that you have done something to deserve this, you might as well confess." Which of course, pissed her off and she called me a "mean mom." Which is probably true, but I quit being offended by those kind of remarks when Jasmin was 8 years old - it just makes me chuckle now. In spite of being such a mean mom, I've made sure that she got her Tylenol and her decongestants on schedule, her vaporizer filled, her blankets and pillows fluffed, and I even braved the 60 degree weather to get her a Subway sandwich and a chocolate chip cookie - I'm such a bitch.
Jacob is more like me - he refuses to be sick. When he was off school, his biggest complaint was missing his friends and wishing he had gone anyway. He still isn't 100% today, but I'm sure that if he had stayed home, he probably would have killed Heather.
Besides, he has a field trip tomorrow. The 7th grade is going to Snow Creek Ski Lodge in Weston, Missouri. (it's about 45 minutes away) We don't have any mountains out here on the prairie, so they built a huge hill, and bought an artificial snow blower - it's pretty pathetic actually. I have no idea how this is supposed to be educational, unless they are doing a unit on Einstein's laws of motion. Seems to me, there would be a safer way to demonstrate it though. I'm sure the kids will have fun, I just hope the teachers and chaperones bring plenty of Valium.
Oh Lord, Heather just came downstairs and wanted to know "Why God makes HER sick all the time !" I told her that it builds character, and to go back to bed. I don't know if I can take another two days of this. It was so much nicer before they learned to talk.
Since I didn't have to teach, I got caught up on my cleaning. While I was cleaning the family room (Nick's room) I found an empty pint of Peach flavored vodka under his dirty clothes. I suppose I'll have to go through his things and pack them away before the kids get into them. I'll probably be finding all sorts of surprises for a while.
I actually got downstairs today to do a little drawing. Just doodles mostly. I really am going to do some thing. It's always been my version of mental health therapy. It's cheaper than a shrink, and not quite as messy as basket weaving. I think I need to track down a CD player for my art room though, I can still hear what goes on upstairs.
Well, I need to write tomorrow's To do list, and a few other things, so I better get busy before it gets too late.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Posted by Auburn~haired~artist at Monday, January 28, 2008