Monday, January 14, 2008

The results of romance

I know, I've been missing in action for a while. Life has been . . . weird. I guess that's sort of stating the obvious, huh? But this past weekend has gone from one emotional extreme to the other, and I'm just now starting to recover.

You know what else is weird ? Marriage. At least mine is. After 18 years of marriage, things get pretty comfortable and routine. But sometimes, usually by accident, my husband will say or do the right thing, at just the right time, and a spark is ignited. That's how my weekend began. Sneaking around the house, giggling, and trying to ditch the kids (and dogs) like a couple of teenagers. It was wonderful.

The honeymoon only lasted until Sunday morning - when he hurt my feelings, and I turned on him like a rabid animal. Why do men do that ? By the grace of God, they get a good thing going, and they just can't resist screwing it up by being . . . men ! One of those things that I normally wouldn't give more than half an hour's frustration to, but because we were having such a wonderful weekend . . . I didn't take it well, and it turned into a full blown fight. Roy and I don't have episodes like that very often, and I guess it's a good thing that they are usually over stupid, unimportant things - it makes it alot easier to forgive and move on with life.

We were supposed to go house hunting this weekend. We only managed to go see one house. It was one that we were really hoping would be THE HOUSE. It really was a beautiful house, but I'm tired of moving, and I guess I am being picky. I have a very clear picture of what I want, and I just have a feeling that I'll find it. Hopefully, Roy won't loose patience with me before then. Technically, our lease isn't up until June, but because Roy used to work for the people that own our duplex, they are willing to work with us. Maybe it would be better to wait until spring, after the kids are out of school, but I think that we need to be looking. I know that it sounds crazy, but I just have a "feeling" about all of this. Like, if I look at enough houses, I'll know "my house" the minute I walk into it. I don't know, maybe I still have too many romantic thoughts floating around in my head ? Most likely, I'll look at a ton of places, and eventually, I'll get sick of it and finally say,
"Hell with it, this one is close enough." I hope it doesn't happen that way.

Well, it's getting late, and for some reason, I'm exhausted.
Good night.
Love,
Susan

2 howled back:

christopherc said...

Passion is fruit of the heart that must manifest itself. I think that you possess far more passion in your life than the average. It must seep from the heart through displays of love, or through savage anger. Both require passion for the moment and relieve the pressures from the heart to prevent cardiac explosion! Roy finds himself in the enviable position of having found someone to equal his passion for life in you; and he knows it... he affords you opportunities to express that passion to keep your heart from exploding from time to time; and you return the favor. Next time you feel like exploding in the anger of love just tell him to shut up and make love like he means it to you!

As for the house search; it's just a house. Yes it is important to be happy with the house, but you and Roy compose the home and hearts of love that convert that house into a haven for memories to flourish and compassion for those less fortunate. It makes no difference in the end where the house is set, or what it looks like... it will be a home of love and passion.

Now, my dearest friend go in peace and show the world the beauty of love that you only can reflect knowing that we care and lift you up upon the wings of prayers. You are a light to us and the world.

-C

Betty said...

I hope you don't just take any house out of exhuastion or impatience either, I hope your house comes along, I truly do. Stick with your feeling and it will happen, I believe in that stuff.

I"m glad you are back, and hope things get a little less bumpy for you guys.
love me xxx